Dad Accidentally Sends His Wife a Link to Porn Instead of a Video of Their Son
I know I've been embarrassed when I accidentally sent someone a text message meant for someone else. It was a horrible, cringe-y mistake to say the least. But I sure as heck never made quite the misstep that one man did after he accidentally sent him wife a link to porn instead of a video of their son.
Things started out innocently enough.
Before this whole mess went down, he was looking at videos of his son "and getting a good chuckle out of them," he wrote on the Today I F---ed Up forum.
"My wife asked what I was giggling about and I told her," he recalled. "She started sending me some of her old pictures and videos and we shared them with my preschooler together. It was cute, family fun."
But what he did later that night was not so innocent.
After they put the child to bed, his wife went downstairs for a Zoom meeting with her friends, while he stayed upstairs to have some *alone time.*
"As a married man of more than a decade, I took this rare opportunity for some alone time to play a little game I like to call, 'beat the clock" -- which is where I take an Ambien and try to see if I can finish rubbing one out before I fall asleep," he explained. "So far, I am undefeated!"
But his big blunder came when his wife sent him a text asking him to "share some of those videos with me?"
To say he was just a little loopy is putting things mildly and in his "semi-lucid state" he assumed she was looking for some sexy fun of her own.
"I was so excited, I immediately sent her the Pornhub link to the video I was watching right then," he wrote.
They were ... not the videos she was talking about.
As he realized with sudden clarity when he heard his wife yell "WHAT THE F---?!?!" from downstairs.
"She runs up the stairs, bursting into our room with a furious, 'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I ALMOST SHOWED THAT TO MY FRIENDS!'" he recalled.
"I just stared at her: mouth agape, pants askew."
The conversation that followed was awkward to say the least.
"One very confusing conversation later, we both walked away disappointed and we have each now have some new material to go over with our individual therapists about," he wrote.
People in the comments had their own stories of Ambien doing them dirty.
"Trying to fight Ambien leads to some very questionable decisions that seem perfectly fine at the time," one commenter wrote in. "Lmao."
"I applied for a marketing job at a motorcycle clothing company in Temecula, California while on Ambien. I live in Tennessee and have exactly zero experience in marketing," someone else shared.
Another commenter told the story of a late-night cooking adventure:
"While on Ambien, my husband decided to make a Fluffernutter sandwich in the middle of the night. But we didn't have any marshmallow creme. His drug-fogged brain decided this is not a problem -- he can just make some!
The next morning I go into the kitchen and there's pans, utensils, bread, peanut butter and melted marshmallows on the stove, in the sink and the counter in between. He was confused when I asked what the hell he'd done in the kitchen the night before, so I led him into the kitchen and gestured angrily at the mess. He did apologize, but the best part was the sheepish look on his face as he realized what he'd been up to and explained his brilliant-at-the-time idea to make marshmallow creme from scratch."
Eventually, his wife eventually came around and thought that the whole situation was funny, the man explained later in the thread.
"My wife and I are both laughing about it this morning," he wrote -- luckily for him.