Fed Up Husband Locks Wife Out of Office Because She Won't Stop 'Trying to Seduce' Him

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Sex is always an important topic in marriage. There are those who claim they can't get enough, and those who claim they don't get enough. And, in general for a healthy sex life to work, both partners need to be in the right head and heart space to do the deed.

Although one husband adores his wife, he's in the middle of studying for a huge test, and he needs some time to study. But every night he settles down to do it, his wife has other activities in mind.

  • The husband says that he's been studying for a "very important test" (the bar exam) each night for the past few weeks. 

    " I usually wait until after dinner before I start, which usually is around 9 - 10 PM, and then I will work until 1 - 3 AM," he wrote. "It depends on how much I get done. My wife doesn't usually go to bed until 11 PM, and at that time of night she likes to be close to me and cuddle, so she has been coming into my office and hanging out with me while I work."

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  • However, his wife proved quickly that she had more on her mind than cuddling. 

    "This was fine for a few days, but then it seemed like every night she would go from cuddling me to trying to make out with me and have sex," the husband wrote. "More often than not we would and my schedule would suffer as a result."

  • The husband first tried talking to her about it. 

    "I asked her not to keep doing this because she knows it's hard for me to turn her down, and she promised she would stop, but she didn't and the same pattern repeated itself," he wrote. "I have fallen behind my schedule now by a lot, and I have asked her to please not do this anymore if she is going to come into my office. She swore to me again she would not try to initiate, and she still did."

  • After talking didn't work, he resorted to the next logical step: Locking her out. 

    "I didn't know what else to do since talking to her failed, so tonight when I went into my office to study I locked the door," he wrote. "When she tried to come in like she normally does and found out it was locked she asked me to open the door and I refused. We had about a 45 minute conversation through the door before she finally went away in tears."

  • Of course he said he feels horrible, but he also feels pretty stuck. 

    "I feel like the worst person in the world for making her so sad, but I don't know what else to do," he wrote. "She says she understands my issue and will do better, but she doesn't. I can't keep doing this for the next few months, so if she can't stop herself the only solution I have is to lock her out."

    Now he wants to know if he's wrong for setting such a firm boundary.

  • Redditors assured him that he was not wrong for setting those boundaries.

    "When your spouse is studying for/taking an exam as serious as the bar sacrifices will need to be made," wrote one reader. "My husband took the bar 6 years ago when CA was still a 3 day BAR exam. He studied full time for 3 months before, I worked full time and would come home and quiz him, type his handwritten essays into the Kaplan course for grading so he could keep studying etc. When you are a team and your partner is working towards something like this you have to come together and work together and sacrifice together."

    The reader continued, "We spent our 1 year wedding anniversary (10 years together) in Pinkberry doing flash cards but you know what it all paid off, he passed the first time and we got to move on towards other life goals together. Your wife needs to get on the same page as you and stop sabotaging your study time, this is temporary, maybe explain if you fail this will all have to be repeated."

  • A few folks thought her behavior was a little red-flaggy.

    "You've explicitly asked her to stop multiple times, then she manipulates you to have sex and 'won't take no for an answer' before escalating and getting more aggressive until you submit and have sex with her. THIS IS NOT OKAY," one reader commented.

    "Imagine if the genders were reversed," the person continued. "Your wife sets aside a few hours every night to study for an incredibly important test, and you come in and manipulate her to have sex with you over and over despite her repeatedly telling you no, and using aggression to get your way."

  • Others even suggested she may be pregnant and more hormonal than anything. 

    No matter if that's the case, this poster's wife needs to respect his boundaries, and he really needs to asses his level of comfort and danger. No one should feel pressured into sex, even in a committed marriage.