Woman Is Hurt 'Insanely Rich' Fiancé Proposed With $140 Ring -- But Gives Mom & Sister 12K Monthly

Twenty20

Engagement ring
Twenty20

There's your marriage, your wedding, and then there's your engagement ring. For some women, the ring is key, but would you be upset if your fiancé didn't splash out on a pricey diamond? For one bride-to-be, it's not so much that her soon-to-be husband got her an inexpensive ring -- it's that he's rich, like really rich, and seems to be fine going over the top with his spending on everyone but her.

  • The hurt fiancée explained that they've been together for six years.

    She didn't really know that he had money when they first get together, she explained in a post on Reddit's Am I the A--hole forum. About nine months into the relationship, he finally revealed that he's *ahem* comfortable.

    "He's RICH," the Original Poster (OP) explained. "Like owns a Rolls Royce and a mansion rich. Gucci belts and Chanel bags type rich."

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  • So imagine her surprise when the ring was ... not good.

    Of course, it's not the ring that makes a marriage, but her fiancé revealed he only spent $140 on Etsy for her ring "after I had been gushing about it to everybody that would listen." 

    "I was really, really hurt," she explained. "He spent more on his dog's cage than my ring."

  • The woman felt like her fiancé didn't care about her.

    When she told him that she was hurt by the price of her ring, he accused her of being a gold digger.

    "His family is accusing me of being a gold digger" too, she added. "I'm just really jarred because he previously had no qualms with spending money with me and I never took that for granted."

    "I know I'm not entitled to his money and I was never with him for his money, but considering the extent to his wealth I don't think I'm being unreasonable in my expectations," she explained.

  • Before any judging starts, she also wanted to point out that her fiancé has no problem being generous -- to everyone but her.

    He gives his mom and his sister $6,000 per month, she explained. 

    "He bought his brother a house," she continued. "And his friend a car. He drives a Rolls Royce. He owns a yacht. That cage he bought for his dog was $850."

  • In fact, the most he's ever spent on her was $200 from Fashion Nova.

    "He encouraged me to spend that much," she wrote. "That was four years in to our relationship."

  • The real issue is that she feels like she's not a priority to her fiancé.

    "Twelve thousand a month goes to his mother and sister. Six years and he's never made a purchase bigger than $200 on me," she wrote.

    She's worried that his reluctance to spend money on her is a sign that he doesn't trust her "or possibly even care." And in comparison to the amount of money her fiancé spends on his family -- the price of her ring still stings.

    "Considering how much he shells out to his mother and sister I would expect a statement of his love and dedication to me to be a little more grand," she explained. "I'm not expecting him to break the bank. I would be okay with a 1k ring [and] he gives more than that to his mother and sister."

  • She swears she's not with her fiancé for his money.

    She pays for her own living expenses and is in school to get her bachelor's degree in economics.

    "If I only wanted his money I would have left a long time ago," she wrote. "It's [the] fact that he CAN spend more than $140 on my engagement ring but is CHOOSING not to that hurts me. Makes me feel like he thinks I'm not worth it."

  • She's never really told her fiancé that it bothers her that he isn't generous.

    She didn't want to seem like a gold digger and her fiancé is already paranoid that people only like him for his money.

    "I would think that six years and no complaints would ease his suspicion, but that’s probably why he thought I'd be okay with the ring," she continued. 

    "But I wasn't, so I sat him down and said verbatim 'I wasn't expecting a ring from Etsy. I think it's beautiful, but that actually kind of hurt me. I would expect something a little better quality,'" she recalled.

    "And he just went off on me. Called his mom and sister and they went off on me," she added.

  • If this ring was all her fiancé could afford, she would understand.

    But to her it looks like he can afford to spend more but didn't think she was worth the money.

    "I don't want to be second place to his mother and sister," she wrote. "Furthermore, the gem on the ring just fell off."

  • Many people in the comments agreed -- her fiancé should have bought her something nicer.


    "Any woman who is less than overjoyed over a glorified ring pop is always deemed gold digger here," one commenter chimed in. "It is jarring to know that this guy isn't a cheapskate in other areas of his life -- just the part that involves the person he wants to marry."

    And the quality of the ring is an issue too. 

    "The gem already fell off!!" one person pointed out. "NTA [Not the A--hole]. This guy is happy to spend money on anyone but his soon to be spouse. This won't be the end of the money problems between them."

    "He was setting her up for this scenario," a third person wrote. "If you truly believe your partner is only in it for your money after six years together then you should break up. Instead he used the proposal as a weird tool to test the woman he supposedly wants to spend his life with. Gross."

    "Like you said, you would have been fine with a $1000 ring and to me it seems like you want to at least be seen as more special than his dog," another person added. "Right now you feel like less than a dog because he can spend $800 on a dog's cage but not on your engagement ring."

  • Other people DID think she was a gold digger.


    "YTA," one commenter told her. "So you loved the ring until you found out how much it cost? I think this says a lot more about you than it does him..."

    "Gentle YTA. I get why you're upset but you loved the ring before you knew what it cost. If it were cheap and poorly made and you disliked it for that reason, it would be different," someone else agreed. "As it is, he quite probably just thought it was a ring you'd like (he was correct!) And it happened to cost $140."

    "Lmao, YTA. You loved the ring until you found out it was $140, that says a lot about your character. So he's rich, that's HIS money, you're not entitled to it," a third person wrote.

    But the OP explained later in the post that it really isn't about the price of the ring. He spends so much money on everyone else that it feels glaring when he doesn't spend as much on her. 

    "It makes me feel like I'm second place," she wrote, which is a big problem no matter how you look at it.

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