Dad Thinks It's 'Unfair' That Breastfeeding Mom Doesn't Want Him Touching Her Boobs

Twenty20

Breastfeeding mom
Twenty20

Truth: Postpartum sex is not like sex before baby. First of all, your body feels different, and second, you're tired all the darn time. One Redditor didn't know how to properly get this through her husband's head and wrote in looking for advice on how to tell him that, for the time being, ta-tas are off the menu.

  • The couple has been married for six years, and before she had their now 2-month-old daughter, their sex life was "great."

    In fact, there was one sex act that the two of them loved.

    "Without going into too much detail, it involves my boobs," she wrote in her post on Reddit.

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  • Their sex life has slowed since she had the baby.

    Her husband is "definitely a boob guy," but now their favorite thing in the bedroom "is something that I'm becoming less interested in" because her breasts are "sore and tender to the touch."

  • Breastfeeding has also made her feel differently about her chest.

    Now that she uses her breasts to nurse, "I can't even really look at them sexually anymore."

    In fact, she'd prefer it if he kept his distance from them. "I don't like or want them sucked or touched in any way right now," she continued.

  • Her husband doesn't really accept that things are different now.

    Although she assured him that things won't be permanent, she can't guarantee that they'll go back to the way they were before baby either.

    "There's just something about him doing anything sexual with them that makes me uncomfortable," she wrote.

  • He accused her of being unfair.

    But it's not like she planned this reaction or anything.

    "How can we come to some sort of truce or something of the sort?" she wrote. "I've been a little snappy with him about it, but I'm getting tired of arguing about it."

  • People in the comments agreed: Her husband needs to back off the boobies.


    One commenter suggested that the original poster phrase things in a specific way: "I'm sorry honey but the sensations of having my breasts touched put me into 'mom/breastfeeding' mode, which does not feel good mixed with sexual arousal."

    A second commenter shared, "I was the same. It’s not permanent, you will get over it, especially after you're done nursing. Just let him know the sensations feel the same so it's a turn-off now, instead of a turn-on, as it should be. He needs to wait, and be patient. It's not forever, it's just...until you either get used to it (it took me six kids to get used to it) or until you're done nursing."

    "Guys (good ones, anyway) will wait as long as you ask them to wait, for whatever it is, so long as you're actually asking them to wait," a third commenter wrote. "True frustration, true resentment, arises from not talking about it, from letting someone sit in the dark and think to themselves that this is just going to go on forever."

    That's what the new mom needs to keep in mind when she talks things through with her husband. It's her body, and she has every right to say what turns her on (or off) and when.
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