Husband Says He's Considering Hiding the 'Good' TP from His Wife & the Internet Is Appalled


Man holds toilet paper in bathroom

I believe it was Elle Woods who once said, "All those opposed to chafing, please say 'aye.'" The Legally Blonde lead character knew the importance of a quality roll of toilet paper as much as the next person -- or at least as much as one man, whose anonymous post is currently lighting up Reddit. It seems that he's strongly thinking about hiding the "nice" TP from his wife and saving it all for himself ... and, well, the internet has some *feelings* on that one.

  • In his defense, the poster pointed out that his wife prefers "quantity over quality" when it comes to TP.

    In fact, she recently purchased what he describes as "a 36-roll package of some see-through half-ply" -- of which he is not a fan.

    "Now this is some real John Wayne TP, it won’t take [expletive] from anybody," he added (quite literally).

    So the man decided to take things into his own hands. 

    "I went out and got a brand laced with Aloe Vera and it is top notch, HIGHLY recommend," he continued. "As a loving husband, I have volunteered myself to the guest bathroom for my privacy/her protection and am considering keeping all the good-good in there for myself."

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  • Some people felt like the poster's wife made her (TP) bed, and now she should lie in it.

    "She bought the [expletive] toilet paper, she can use the [expletive] toilet paper," one person -- who clearly has some STRONG feelings -- declared.

    "I don’t recommend actively hiding something from your wife, but I also heavily believe you don’t use [expletive] toilet paper," a second commenter wrote. "Hoard that TP."

    "She's the one who wants to use/buy the devil's sandpaper, you're not an [expletive] for wanting to use something soft on your [expletive]," a third commenter chimed in.

  • But other people thought the man was being super greedy, hogging all that good toilet paper for himself.

    "I don't really understand why she can't use the nice toilet paper too?" one person wondered.

    Others innocently asked if there was some other reason behind why the wife purchased the other TP.

    "Is she trying to save money or does she not know that there is a difference?" one commenter asked. "If it's money, then tell her you appreciate her cost saving efforts, but this is one area you'd rather not skimp on a few bucks. If she doesn't know there is a difference, let her try both and if she doesn't care, then yeah, keep the good stuff for yourself. Otherwise, share it with her."

    A third person had this to say about the "messy" situation:

    "I mean, presumably she's buying quantity over quality to save money, right? Then you're going out and spending more money on more toilet paper.," they said. "Not to mention it's a waste of your time sneaking off to buy personal toilet paper. Would you not just tell her that the cheap toilet paper is ripping the (expletive) off you, and there's no point you both going out buying your own toilet paper separately Sneaking off to buy fancy toilet paper, while hilarious for us, is pretty depressing as far as compromise and communication goes in a marriage."
  • In a later update to his post, the man clarified that his story was meant to be "lighthearted," and was taken a bit too seriously.

    And just to make sure everyone knows he's not a total TP monster, he added that, "I did throw some of the good stuff in our master bathroom when I got home."

    "She bought the big pack thinking it would last a while not knowing it was crap (pun intended)," he continued. "I joked with her about it before for those worried about our marriage and communication."

    I guess it's fair to say that alls well that ends well. (And it's certainly good to know that poor woman won't be suffering alone through her 36-roll supply of one-ply.)

bathroom relationships