20 Small Silver Linings of Going Through a Divorce
We're not going to sugarcoat it: Ending any marriage -- even a really bad one -- is just the worst. On a really basic, unemotional level, it's just a huge hassle. Divorce is expensive as all get-out, even if it's amicable, and there's mountains and mountains of paperwork to get through, even if it's a no-fault situation with joint custody and everyone is trying their absolute best to be civil -- and may the Lord help us and the mountains of paperwork if it isn't a super chill divorce. And then, of course, there's all the emotional labor involved. For many people who go through a divorce, it brings up a ton of difficult feelings. Even if we know at our core that we deserve to be happy and that, ultimately, both parents being happy will be better in the long run for our kids, we may end up feeling guilty, feeling like a failure, and feeling hopeless about our romantic future.
Realistically, there are a lot of bad emotions that can come up. And we're often not surrounded by the kind of people who will say the right things in that moment. Sometimes, instead of hearing, "Hey there, person who is wonderful and capable and strong and beautiful, it's going to be OK and this is for the best. Promise," we end up hearing something snippy and belittling from our parents or our former in-laws or our friends. But that doesn't mean this wasn't a good idea in the end. If divorce is something that's been top of mind lately, check out information on when it's time to consider divorce. It's not an encyclopedia of literally everything that could make a divorce happen, but it may help to see if this is a rough patch or something more. And for anyone feeling guilty about how a divorce may impact the kids, know they'll get through it, too. Honestly, there are so many things that are worse for a kid than their parent getting divorced. Finally, for anyone looking for a marker to celebrate their newfound freedom, consider getting a tattoo after that divorce.
We Suddenly Get to Watch Whatever Want
No more Sundays watching football when that doesn't spark joy, like, at all. No more enduring that ultra-painful The Real Housewives marathon that never seems to end. Who's the boss of the remote control now? That's right! I am!
New-Found Free Time
After a divorce, all that time we used to spend on our marriages is all ours now, to do literally whatever we want with. Take a drawing class, get into yoga, keep a cleaner home, take an online class in coding ... free time is the gift that keeps on giving.
More Time for Friends
There's only so much time in a day, but after a divorce, we get a bit more time to see those friends we didn't have time -- or even go out in search of new ones at a local MeetUp or mom group.
Ending a Bad Relationship Can Be a Relief
As hard as it is to end a marriage, it's also a gigantic relief to end a bad one. If we've been feeling like our partner has been gaslighting us, or we've been lied to, our we were cheated on ... getting out of that relationship and no longer wearing that ring is such a relief.
No More Annoying In-Laws
The spouse is gone, and so are the annoying in-laws. Not everyone is cursed with overbearing in-laws, but we definitely know plenty of folks who have had to set serious boundaries with in-laws who were really, really into crossing lines.
It Means Sex With Someone New
Sure, the thought of sex with someone new might seem daunting, but it's also totally exciting. And in the wake of a divorce, it may not be the first thing we think of, but when we do... sex with someone new? Honestly, yes, please.
Finally Getting Some Time Off From Parenting
Of course, the transition to shared custody can be absolutely heartbreaking and depressing. But look on the bright side: After a divorce, we're not on duty all the time anymore. Part-time parenting has its perks.
Divorcing Those Annoying Friends: Maybe the Biggest Upside?
It's impossible to be in a long-term relationship and like all of our spouse's friends. So while we'll want to hang onto our ex's friends that have become our own, after a divorce, we also get to lose the ones we would rather do without.