Do you have a secret wish to have better sex in 2009?
I don't know about you, but better sex, more sex and exciting sex always sound good to me.
Sex writer Anka Radakovich, author of Lessons for Lovers: Become Sexually Fluent in 7 Easy Lessons, wants us to start our New Year off with a bang. She put together a 4-week sex makeover for Redbook.com. Just do at least three of the following sexercises each week and see big payoffs in the bedroom:
Week 1: Do some sexual healing. Think of this as cleaning out your emotional closet.
- Feed each other's ego. Take 10 minutes to compliment him on something physical, emotional and appreciative. Then be sure to give at least one additional compliment each day.
- Play the How I Like to be Touched game. Talk about the nonsexual touches that make you feel good. You're not allowed to have sex while doing this exercise. It's okay to giggle, being goofy sparks your sex connection.
- Critique each other constructively. Know what he likes and doesn't like. Ask him. Have him ask you. Find out what you'd each like done a little differently in bed.
- Redo your bedroom. Banish clutter, remove family photos. Make this room the romance room for you and your significant other. Put some candles in the room, make sure you have a CD player there, splurge for a few sexy supplies. And put a lock on that door.
Week 2: Pleasure him. Focus on sexual satisfaction. Don't worry, you're next.
- Treat him to an erotic massage. Stroke and caress him everywhere.
- Do sexy shiatsu. This means for you experiment with his member. Be creative, and ask him for new ideas.
- Rough him up a little. Guys are very physical when it comes to sex. Get the adrenaline going by play wrestling or having pillow fights--clothed or unclothed.
- Try hot and cold. Try sipping a hot drink before kissing him in his sensitive spots. Drink something cold and try the same thing. Try heated lubes like K-Y and FDS.
Week 3: Pleasure You. Now it's your turn. Ask him to do all the work this week.
- Play the Hand Over game. Put your hand over his and show him exactly how you like to be touched.
- Set an O Goal. You must have five orgasms during Week 2. (If five sounds too easy for you, try 10.) He can give you one a day or five in one wonderful session. Just reach the goal within 7 days.
- Enjoy an erotic bedtime story. Buy a book of erotica and have him read you a story. You might find yourselves getting ideas.
- Play with lighting. Turn off the lights, take a flashlight and guide the glow to areas of your body you want him to lick or rub. He has to pay attention to that area until you stop shining the flashlight on it.
Week 4: Take it to the Next Level. Push your limits together. Add more moves and get honest about your desires.
- Make a wish list. Write down five new things each of you would like to try (don't include fantasies that you'd never really do). Or list something you've done before and want to do again. Then share lists, and you pick something off his while he picks something off yours.
- Talk dirty. Ease into it. Start simple: "That's good" or "Yes, there." And work up to adding more detail and spicy language. Don't be shy. Be dirty and bad if you want to.
- Take turns taking control. Be more dominate on one day. Tie him up playfully, blindfold him and boss him around in bed. You can be a teacher, and he's the naughty student. At least have some silly fun with it.
- Strike a new pose. Try at least one new position you've never done before. Check out my piece a few weeks ago called 10 New Sex Positions to Keep You Busy.
- Do it somewhere different. Have sex in two different rooms this week or book a road trip. If you can find a private stop, try some backseat-of-the-car action.
CafeMom has many great groups to talk about sex, including the private one Tips for a Better Sex Life. Do you have any tips for more exciting sex in 2009?