Man Meets Girlfriend's Parents Before Proposing & Realizes He's Slept With Her Dad

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Dad and boyfriend meeting
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We all have some skeletons in our closets -- especially when it comes to past romantic relationships. But few have come across quite the same situation as one man, who realized during a typical meet-the-parents lunch before he proposed to his girlfriend that five years ago he had met and slept with his lady's father. The man had wanted to pop the question, but as one can imagine, things have become just a tad (lol) tricky, and he's now not sure how to proceed.

  • According to the man, he met his girlfriend's father during a "bi(sexual) phase" five years ago.

    In a letter written to an advice column on The Guardian, the anonymous man explained that a few years ago, he went through a "bi phase" where he "used to sleep around with pretty much everyone that came along, including other men." Of course, it's completely normal to experiment and identify as bisexual. The problem is that his "phase" put him in an awkward position after he went to lunch to meet the parents of the woman he is dating "and halfway through lunch realized that I had slept with her father."

    Obviously that is awkward as heck and it didn't help that her father recognized him too and told him to "end it with his daughter." But the man wants to propose to her, is in love with her, and is wondering if he can ignore the fact that he and his girlfriend's dad have a past or if he should tell her.

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  • Clearly this story has A LOT going on, but people were split on whether the couple could make it work after such a scandal.


    Talk about a love triangle! There are so many things that could go wrong for the man if his girlfriend doesn't accept the news graciously (though could we blame her if she didn't?).

  • That is why columnist Pamela Stephenson Connolly told him she doesn't really see a way this could work out.

    advice column

    Connolly, who is a "psychotherapist who specializes in treating sexual disorders," responded to the man and told him there seems slim-to-none chance a marriage would work between them. "To tell the truth would be to court disaster: a probable break-up, plus the risk of a permanent rift between father and daughter and father and wife," she added. "Hiding the truth would lead to toxic secret-keeping that could be equally destructive in the long run."

    She admits there might be a shot if the whole family turned out to be as "open-minded" as the man is, but most likely that won't be the case. Not to mention that the woman's father already told him to get lost. "Walk away now, and avoid the massive pain that would otherwise be inflicted on your partner, her family and yourself," she advised.

  • And many people online agreed: There was no way this relationship could work but he still needs to tell her.


    Although many people agreed that this relationship is probably doomed, some felt like it would be wrong for the man to break up with his girlfriend without telling her the reason why.

  • One person wrote in that to break up without an explanation would be "callous" and "allow the father to escape the possible consequences."

    advice column

    "My opinion (and I'm sure many will disagree) is that you should tell her and let her make the decision," someone else commented. "It's unfair on her to just walk away, it's unfair on you for her father to expect you to (and I suspect that he's doing so in a pathetic attempt to avoid his own guilt). Put everything in the open, she may well understand your past, she may not, but don't make the choice for her, she may well want to spend the rest of her life with you don't just walk away and deny her that."

    Another person also else felt that the dad needs to pay for his crimes. "So the dad gets to walk away scot-free while his daughter gets her heart broken? Sounds like a right scumbag. Walk away like he told you, sure, but not without telling his wife why you're leaving," they commented.

  • But not everyone agreed. Some people thought there *might* be a chance the relationship could keep going ... if they keep the secret. 


    All the man has to do is promise his girlfriend's dad that they will never, ever speak of their tryst again. Easy peasy, right?

  • One person commented that the relationship could work and "no one needs to confess anything."

    advice column

    Another person agreed that because it was just a "one-off" the man could probably keep his secret. "Keep it to yourself, and tell the father you will do that," the person advised. "To do anything else risks too much upset. Just be sure that you will be able to keep to it."

    A third person felt as if the whole thing was "awkward" (to say the least!) and wrote that they didn't think "the dad is going to want you exposing his secret life, so your only hope is to explain to him firmly that it can stay between you."

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