This Is Why It's Just So Damn Hard for Men to Replace the Toilet Paper Roll

toilet paper rolls
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ATTENTION! I interrupt your news feed to give you a special public service announcement! This is serious and needs to be addressed. This is a one like, one prayer type scenario and WOMEN I need you to listen up.

  • EVERY DAY 3 in 3 men are suffering from this condition. 

    men don't change toilet paper rolls
    Laura Mazza

    Thousands upon hundreds of thousands of men are struggling with the complaints and shame that their partners are giving to them due to toilet paper rolls being left in the bathroom. It’s causing them stress, baldness, twitchy eye syndrome and snoring at nightitis.

    Women all over the globe are assuming men can change the toilet paper roll and getting upset when they don’t or just can’t physically do it -- IT IS JUST NOT RIGHT.

    Men are leaving rolls on floors, on top of fresh paper, or leaving one measly square on top of the roll -- all of them unaware of how to physically change a roll and as a result being excluded from their partners' affection and suffering.

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  • Here’s what some men had to say about this shaming epidemic:

    "I physically strained my butt muscles while taking a poo so I couldn’t even lift my arm to change the roll. She didn’t speak to me for weeks … my ass and my heart is strained" -- Ben, 42, iPhone user on toilet.

    "I only use square by square and I assumed she did too… she told me one square isn’t sufficient. Now I’m a broken man who feels he isn’t sufficient." -- Robert, 25, Doesn’t courtesy flush.

    "I thought she liked when I dropped them on the floor! I thought that’s where they were meant to go. We haven’t spoken in weeks. Now I’m a discarded toilet paper roll." -- Simon, 35, Always has to use the bathroom when it’s time to do the dishes.

    "I wanted to express my creativity by placing the roll on top of an empty roll, to show her how my love can fulfill her when she’s empty. Now she doesn’t feed me dinner and I don’t have a use for the rolls anymore." -- Craig, 32, Creative genius -- has tried the "reverse kanga" (which is the art of sitting backward on a toilet while pooping, thereby leaving a long, filthy skid mark down the length of the bowl, according to Urban Dictionary).

  • Ladies, please, let’s bring our men up and encourage them and tell them that is OK. 

    Sure, they might be useless most of the tim. Sure, it’s not that hard to throw them in the rubbish. SURE you may have put a wastebasket in the bathroom to make it easier -- but what do we have to gain besides breaking these poor men down to nothing?

  • End the shame, ladies. Let the man and the toilet paper run free and put a stop to this bullying behavior.

    Today I ask you to post your photos of toilet paper rolls on the floor with the hashtag #nomanleftbehind to show that you are with our men and their laziness will never stop your love.

    This story was written by blogger Laura Mazza of Mum on the Run and was republished with permission. 

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