13 Women Share What the First Date After Their Divorce Was Like

Wendy Robinson | Apr 10, 2018 Love & Sex
13 Women Share What the First Date After Their Divorce Was Like
Image: istock.com/flukyfluky

man, flowers, giving flowers, cafe date

After 13 years of marriage, I've come to accept the fact that I'll never go on another first date. This means that I'll never have another marathon outfit-planning session with my girlfriends or have another first kiss. At this stage of my life, if I want to experience juicy first-date stories, I have to hit up my recently divorced friends. 

In recent months, I've watched as some friends have worked on getting through their divorces and re-entering the dating scene after years of married life. They're figuring out dating apps, checking out cute single dads at the park, and deciding if they're looking for a fling or for a second chance at marriage. They're also learning to negotiate the rules of dating as a mom, which has its own set of challenges. From watching them, I've come to believe that staying open to finding love after divorce requires some real bravery and a willingness to endure countless first dates -- including some that are beyond awkward!

I talked to 13 women who were willing to spill the beans on their first dates after their divorce. Some of their stories are sweet, some uncomfortable, and some are even sexy. But all of them represent the hope of finding love again. Read on and live vicariously! 

  • Baseball Date

    baseball game, baseball fan, foam fingers

    "I got set up on a blind date about three months after my divorce was finalized. We went to a baseball game and ate hot dogs and drank beer. At the end of the date, he got to second base! It wasn't a love connection, but it was a chill and fun re-introduction to the idea of dating again." -- Lynn M., Milwaukee, Wisconsin

  • Gun Range Date

    gun range, shooting practice, shooting a gun

    "HE TOOK ME TO A GUN RANGE! And no -- he didn't mention this was the plan beforehand. He just told me he had a 'fun surprise' and to wear something cute. I showed up in a sundress and looked like an idiot. I also hate guns. It helped me realize I need to figure out how to set my filters to weed out crazy Trump-loving gun toters. Hard pass. I already married crazy. I'm not doing that again." -- Cammie S., Mesa, Arizona 

  • Overnight Date


    "We met on a dating app and chatted and texted for a few weeks before our first date. I knew we had good text chemistry but the chemistry face-to-face was INSANE. Our first date ended up lasting 36 hours and included getting naked and frisky on the dock of a lake (it's a long story). It was so unlike anything I'd ever experienced with my ex. It was amazing. We're still together now!" -- Lindsay G., St. Paul, Minnesota 

  • Drunk Date

    drunk woman, doing shots, drinks, shots at bar

    "I was so nervous for my first date. It had been 17 years since my first date. I had a drink to take the edge off. And then another. And then another. I ended up drunk as a skunk. Sloppy drunk. He had to drive me home before we even finished dinner because I was a mess. And then I had to parent hungover the next day. Total fail all the way around." -- Morgan H., Spokane, Washington 

  • No Chemistry Date

    bad date, texting on date, boring date

    "My first date post-divorce seemed like a winner online. His pictures were cute and he seemed witty. But our date was SO AWKWARD. No conversational flow, no chemistry, nothing. It made me wonder if it was us or if I was just really rusty. Thankfully my next date (different guy) went better." -- Tia R., Moline, Illinois 

  • Casino Date

    casino, winning at casino, winning at slots

    "My first date was awesome, because I left the date $500 richer! We went to a casino and I hit it big on a slot machine! I've NEVER won before so I totally counted it as an omen that my life after my divorce was going to get better. And you know what? It totally has!" -- Jessica M., St. Louis, Missouri 

  • Accidental Date

    emergency room

    "Oh, is this a contest for worst post-divorce dates? Because I'm gonna win. I was on a first date with a cute single dad and I tripped in the parking lot walking into the restaurant. I fell face-first into a curb and knocked out my front teeth and blacked out. I left the date in an ambulance and the guy never called me again. Not even to check how I was doing. Jackass!" -- Mallory O., Provo, Utah

  • Older Date

    cycling class, gym class, spin class

    "I met this total silver fox of a guy at my spin class at the gym. He was 25 years older than my ex-husband. He was a great choice for a first date because he'd been divorced too and he was just so different from my ex. We didn't fall in love or anything but he made me feel sexy and interesting, which got me out of my mom mode." -- Kim B., San Jose, California 

  • Breakfast Date

    breakfast, english breakfast

    "Let's just say it went so well that we got dinner AND breakfast the next morning. It was sort of weird to have sex on the first date, actually. I waited until I was married to have sex with my husband, so this was like a total 180. But it was fun and it got me feeling sexual again after not doing it for almost a year." -- Amy P., Toronto, Ontario 

  • Girl Date

    women walking, two girls

    "Well, my first post-divorce date was pretty significant. It was my first date with a woman! And, yes, that was one of the reasons we got divorced. I knew I was attracted to women, but this was my first chance to really explore that desire. It was life changing. And, yep, I'm totally gay." -- Naomi J., Ames, Iowa 

  • Family Date

    family picnic, happy family

    "We totally broke the divorced parents rule and we basically introduced our kids to each other on our first date. We did a family picnic, which was so fun. In hindsight, I'm not sure why we jumped right into family dates. But it worked out okay -- we're engaged now!" -- Erin A., Des Moines, Iowa 

  • Sad Date


    "I said yes to a blind date and I instantly regretted it. I just wasn't ready. I ended up just feeling totally sad the whole time. I didn't want to be dating again at 34. I wanted to still be married. I'm sure I was a terrible date. I didn't try again for like another six months." -- Valerie D., Lansing, Michigan

  • Nature Date

    hiking, hiking date, nature date

    "My ex-husband was a total video game–obsessed couch potato. It drove me nuts. So when the cute IT guy asked me to go hiking, I was totally into it. A guy who actually does something on the weekends? Sign me up! It was totally fun because it was totally something [my husband would] never have done with me." -- Corey E., Denver, Colorado 

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