Giving Attention to Our Kids Kills Our Sex Drive, According to Science

unhappy couple

Every couple will go through a dry spell at some point in their relationship. One of the main reasons why probably won't come as a surprise to most folks: it's having kids. 


Despite the popular image of a frantic couple struggling to take care of kids and later resenting each other, even the happiest of couples can be susceptible to a lowered sex drive after having little ones. 

Experts found that 34 percent of 20-something women who don't have kids under the age of 6 had no sex drive while 95 percent of 20-something women who do have kids in that age range had no sex drive, the Sun reported. 

New parents will find their change in hormones combined with a lack of sleep and (usually big) increase in stress makes sex less appealing. (And as we all know, pregnancy and breastfeeding in general can put our hormones out of whack.)

There's actually an interesting phenomenon that occurs with our bodies once we're parents. Our focus is no longer on us, but instead on nurturing this tiny human we brought into the world, according to the Telegraph.

Giving our kids affection or attention -- and let's be real, we need to give them a lot -- makes us release oxytocin, aka the love hormone, and that in turn helps us bond with our offspring. "Nature's goal is to get you addicted to the baby," Maia Szalavitz, author of a book on bonding called Born for Love, told Business Insider

But the release of such oxytocin actually suppresses someone's dopamine and libido, which results in a reduced sex life.

But don't worry, all hope is not lost. All it takes is some empathy and communication to bring the spark back to life. That means trying to understand where your partner is coming from and maybe experimenting with new things.

Read More >