Sexting Can Actually Ruin a Relationship, According to Science

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Asking your partner what they're wearing and what you would do to them if they were in the same room can definitely add some spice into your love life. But according to new research, too much of these inquiries and eggplant emojis can actually harm your relationship


Let's start with the good news first. Researchers from the University of Alberta in Canada surveyed 615 people of various ages, sexual orientations, ethnicities, and income and education levels, but who were all in committed relationships. The researchers found that frequent sexters (i.e., those who sext several times a week) and hyper sexters (those who sext daily) reported higher sexual satisfaction. We get it, since sexting is pretty much like foreplay. 

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But those folks also reported being way less satisfied in other parts of their relationship. They had the most couple conflict and were also more ambivalent about the relationship's future. So it makes sense that they also reported to be more insecure about and less committed to their relationship, and showed more "infidelity-related behavior" on social media platforms, like sliding into someone else's DMs perhaps. 

"My interpretation is that the sexters are focusing more on the sexual part of their relationship and may be neglecting other areas," Adam Galovan, the lead author of the study, said, according to

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These same folks were also the ones to report having a "technology interference" in their relationship, or texting when they could be talking with their partner at dinner.

"These folks want to get to the end goal -- a good relationship -- without doing the hard work of talking, listening, and spending quality time together," he said. 

"It's the instant gratification culture -- we want it now. But it's what you do to get to that goal that actually defines a good relationship," he said, suggesting that people should close their email app and put down their phones and have a "good old-fashioned conversation" to nurture their relationship.

While other studies have found that sexting can be supportive fuel for keeping a relationship alive, putting your phone away to spend some quality time with your boo is never a bad thing. 

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