15 People Share the One Thing They Wish They Knew Before Getting Married

Kathleen Wong | Dec 7, 2017 Love & Sex
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  • Quality time

    8

    "[I wish I'd known] how crucial six-month check-ins (vacation weekends every six months to get and stay on the same page as a couple) and taking 15 minutes a day to connect through talking and spending time together [are]." -John D. 

    More from CafeMom: Married Couples Reveal How Many Times a Week They Have Sex
  • The roles of marriage

    9

    "I wish I knew what his perceptions really were in terms of how he views a wife." -Jeanine W.

  • Compromise is key

    10

    "[One thing that is] different is my willingness to compromise has increased. Frankly, it's because any unhappiness I cause my wife will ultimately become my own unhappiness as we are in it for the long haul." -Prince B.

  • Love vs. compatibility

    11

    "I wish I knew that it wasn’t about 'love' … what’s love got to do with it? It has everything to do with compatibility." -Zondra W.

  • Opening up

    12

    "I wish I understood the extent of vulnerability I would need on a daily basis to have a truly authentic experience in my marriage." -Belkis C.

  • Honest communication

    13

    "Everyone thinks that if you truly love someone, marriage should be easy. It’s not. Melding two people into one has its bumps and wrinkles. You need to be completely honest. Example: most people don’t discuss their views on discipline of children. This was the hardest thing for me and hubby to agree on in the beginning. But we talked through every aspect of it. We worked together to come up with a game plan we both agreed on." -Kandi M.

  • Be wary of jealousy

    14

    "If they are jealous of your accomplishments in the early stages of your relationship, they have insecurities about their own accomplishments, which often results in their continually squashing your dreams or goals. You want a supportive partner in all aspects of your life together." -Susan M.

    More from CafeMom: 5 Reasons Marriage Engagements Should Be Longer Than One Year

  • Having your own space

    15

    "[I wish I'd known] how important it is to take personal space even when you're combining lives. You need to retain a part of your individual self even when you are sharing everything. Otherwise, you lose track of things you (and just you) love to do and stop doing them." -Gauri S.

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