A Vagina Highlighter Now Exists -- So Where's the Penis Contouring Kit?

Fox; Shades of V

Fox; Shades of V
As of July 27, the world gained access to an exclusively Scandinavian product:  Shades of V's Very V Luminizer. Its purpose? To give the vagina a soft and luminous glow. Which, in case you are confused (something I don't blame you for being), means that there is now an actual highlighter for your vagina. 

  • According to the WOMEN behind this product, Very V Luminizer won't upset your pH balance and contains vitamin E to prevent "dark spots."

    It promises to renew your vaginal skin and give it a youthful (uh, *gag*) appearance all while adding a pretty, iridescent "glow" to your vulva. 

    The idea is to make your vagina more appealing, and I am guessing since you can't see your Queen V without some maneuvering and mirrors, it really exists to make your genitals more appealing to a partner. 

    Because, you know, vaginas are too ugly and smelly as they are. 

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  • So, I'm curious -- when is someone going to release a penis contouring kit?

    Because if men have to "suffer" with the natural state of my vagina, I'd like to know why I have to live with their veiny, bug-eyed throbbing members all up in my face. 

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    I 100 percent understand basic grooming for both genders, but when you start asking me to add a makeup routine to my sexual organs, I draw the goddamn line. 

  • This isn't the first product on the market to try and beautify our vaginas. Recently, Tess Holliday spoke out against an ad for vaginal perfume.

    peach pussy perfume

    There are about a dozen other procedures and products in existence, from insane vaginal surgeries to glitter bombs that get them sparkly -- all created under the premise of making it more enticing for your man to spend some time down there. 

  • But the fact is, vaginal products and serums are harmful on a multitude of levels.


    Firstly, it's flat-out detrimental to your vagina's overall health. It is a working organ that is self-cleaning and sustaining. The only way to "maintain" your daily vaginal health is to be conscientious  of the foods you're eating and the kinds of fabric you wear around it, as both can contribute to infections. And of course, be mindful of practicing safe sex.

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    Secondly, it perpetuates this notion that our genitalia exists for the pleasure of others. While I'm aware men feel their own pressures when it comes to their bodies, they aren't marketed to en masse with pink tax products that could actually be detrimental to their health. Products that exist solely for the "beautification" and barely even for the health of our vaginas imply that there are imperfections of which to be self-conscious. 

  • And to be fair to men -- in all honesty, I don't think they give one iota of a rat's ass.

    Not that they should be of any concern in regards to what you do with your body, but men barely notice the highlight on your FACE, let alone on your vulva. 

    Ladies, so long as you are clean and keeping yourself as healthy as possible, you're doing fine. 

    Leave your vagina be.