16 Women Share How Having Kids Changed Their Sex Life for the Better

Wendy Robinson | May 12, 2017 Love & Sex
16 Women Share How Having Kids Changed Their Sex Life for the Better
Image: iStock.com/vgajic

tattooed couple in bed

Before we had kids, my husband and I had a great sex life. After we had kids, my husband and I -- well, we still have a great sex life. It's different in some ways, but it's still a source of connection and a reminder that we are more than just parents. 

I'm pretty sure that a lot of couples go through a sex slump in the early days of parenting, especially when you are running on no sleep and crazy hormones. But thankfully most kids eventually sleep through the night, and hopefully most parents can figure out a new normal when it comes to their sex lives.

And if the new normal is better than before? BONUS.

I got 16 moms to tell me how their sex lives have changed for the better after having kids. Read on for the sweet and sexy ways real couples keep connected. 

  • More Fun

    couple bed

    "Quickies wherever we can get them are much more fun (and frankly better) than being able to have sex pretty much wherever and whenever, before kids especially." -- Emily L., Saint Paul, Minnesota 

  • Better After Two

    parents playing with kids

    "I didn't actually start to really enjoy sex until after kid No. 2. I think it was the vaginal birth after C-section. After my C-section, sex was super uncomfortable. Like everything shrank up even though no baby came out. Prior to first baby it was mostly just meh for me. After baby two, it kind of opened up a bunch of new sensations for me." -- Christina O., Miami, Florida

  • Cliché But Real

    kids watching tv

    "I know this is the total parent sex cliché, but the whole 'put on a DVD so we can get busy' thing is real! Having kids made us more comfortable with the afternoon quickie, and that is a good thing!" -- Mary W., Pella, Iowa

    More from CafeMom: 5 Exercise to Help Strenghten Your Pelvic Floor Post-Baby

  • No More Worry

    pregnancy test

    "I feel like I spent years worrying about getting pregnant on accident and then years trying to get pregnant. Now our family is complete and my tubes are tied, so sex doesn't have that anxiety anymore. It is a fun new chapter now." -- Mika H., Houston, Texas

  • Less Is More

    couple eating pizza bed

    "I think it is better now? Honestly, after three kids in five years, I'm too tired to remember. We have much less sex now, but the sex we have is better somehow. Less is more. We're both really grateful now when it happens." -- Anita G., London, Ontario, Canada

  • Better for Both

    lesbian couple window

    "We have two kids. I carried one and my wife carried the other. I think both of us feel more comfortable in our own skin after pregnancy. We're both more open-minded about sex now, I think, or maybe more relaxed. But I think it is better for both of us now." -- Gabbie D., Lino Lakes, Minnesota 

  • Sexy Secrets

    happy family

    "One thing that is fun after having kids is being sneaky. Like we might be doing family time, but we're also sexting each other or playing grab ass when the kids aren't looking. We still flirt, but now we are worried about our kids catching us, not our parents." -- Melissa L., Holland, Michigan

    More from CafeMom: 30 Reasons the 30s Are the Best Decade for Sex

  • Change of Location

    couple bed baby

    "We co-sleep, which everyone thinks will kill your sex life, but the truth is that it has forced us to get more creative instead. We used to always just have sex in bed. Now we almost never have sex in bed, and different locations have inspired new positions. The change in location has been good for us." -- Becky P., Springfield, Missouri

  • Grown-Up Toys

    sex toy

    "Before kids, we had zero sex toys. Now we have somewhere between one and 17. Okay, closer to 17. We wouldn't have used them early on, but now it is part of our regular routine. Anything that helps us get the job done faster is good for us." -- Jennifer E., Scottsdale, Arizona

  • New Wife

    vasectomy dictionary

    "When my husband got his vasectomy, his doctor said, 'Congratulations, you just got a new wife!' 

    "I didn't get it at first, but it was true. Having our kids and then being done having kids forever really started a new phase for us. Sex feels fresh again. We've gotten more adventurous in this phase as well. Last week we did it in the car, in the garage!" -- Jodie K., Grand Rapids, Michigan

  • No More Stupid Stuff

    woman reading bed

    "We don't have time to worry about doing stupid sex stuff anymore. I used to read those '90 Sex Positions' articles and we would try things that involved crazy contortions and stuff like that. Now we just have regular old sex and it is more than enough. We aren't trying so hard to be fancy anymore" -- Jocelyn F., White Bear Lake, Minnesota 

    More from CafeMom: Married Couples Reveal How Many Times a Week They Have Sex

  • Best Sex Ever

    pregnant woman partner cuddling

    "The best sex I've ever had is sex while pregnant. The reason we have kid #2 is partially because of how amazing sex with kid #1 was. So, yeah, kids have made our sex life better, for sure." -- Louisa G., Casa Grande, Arizona

  • Seize the Moment

    couple kissing

    "Having kids means seizing the moment. Kitchen quickie while the kids are playing outside? Yep, done that! If you wait for the perfect moment, you'll never have sex. So we go for it when we can." -- Quinn R., Saint Paul, Minnesota

  • Make It Work

    couple kissing bed

    "After we had kids, we had a major sex slump. We didn't have sex for almost a year. Those were some hard days and our marriage was rocky. Now we have a planned sex night once a week. Scheduling isn't sexy -- but neither is divorce. Having kids means I am extra committed to making sure our marriage works, so I take having regular sex seriously." -- Name withheld by request

  • Hot Dad

    dad and son laughing

    "Seeing my husband be a great father is a total turn-on. He is a hot dad now and I love it. We have better sex now than we did pre-kids." -- Denise C., Seattle, Washington

  • Stability Is Sexy

    family playing kitchen

    "I like knowing that my husband and I are a family and that we are in this together. Having kids means that sometimes our sex life is great and sometimes it sucks. But I know we are always a family, so the sucky times aren't as depressing. I know there is ebb and flow. It makes me appreciate the good times more." -- Miko D., San Jose, California 

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