Why So-So Sex Is Still Great for Your Relationship

couple in bed kissing
Once you have kids, finding "alone time" with your partner can kinda be a challenge ... which is like saying that potato chips are kind of salty or that we're sort of sick of politics. But don't worry if you can't be as loud as you want -- or TAKE as long as you want -- in the bedroom. Experts agree that a mediocre hookup with your partner is way better than nothing.


This is not a PSA from the National Blue Balls Association, BTW. Here's the gist:

1. Your relationship kinda depends on your having sex.

Um, no pressure or anything.

"Many new moms become preoccupied ... and direct all of their energy and attention toward their baby," explains Dr. Fran Walfish, PsyD, a Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist, author of The Self-Aware Parent, and costar on WE tv's Sex Box. "Husbands often feel a bit lost in the equation. 'Where do I fit in?' is the feeling."

Ignore this post-kids shift in your relationship and "it can cause a crack in the foundation of your marriage," Walfish says. A decrease in intimacy is often a symptom of poor communication -- and can drive a wedge between you two.

2. Sex helps manage your stress levels.

"Orgasm releases oxytocin, a brain chemical that's low when women are stressed," explains Dr. Tammy Nelson, PhD, a certified sex therapist and the author of The New Monogamy. "Having more sex will actually make you feel less stressed about everything you have to do."

And it's cheaper than therapy!

More from CafeMom: 13 Women Talk Sex With Their Partners & How Much is Enough

3. The more sex you have, the more sex you'll want. 

Talk about a win-win. "Sex is an aphrodisiac," says Nelson. "It releases testosterone, oxytocin, and other chemicals that tell your body, 'We should do this more often!'"

On the other hand, "when you go through a dry spell, your body will shut the whole system down," Nelson adds.

4. You'll be reminded that your partner isn't just your roommate. 

"'Good enough' sex will make all the little things that drive you crazy about your relationship seem insignificant," points out Nelson. "It will also remind you that what's really important is your partner, and the family that you've created together."

So don't wait until you have time to go for a Brazilian or have the privacy to spend hours in your bedroom acting out your favorite scenes from Fifty Shades.

"It's fine to have 'maintenance sex,'" assures Nelson. "It doesn't have to blow your socks off every time. In fact, keep your socks on." 

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