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14 LOL Valentine's Day Cards That Nail the Reality of Romance After Kids

Love & Sex Sheri Reed Jan 22, 2018

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Committed/Etsy

There's nothing like parenthood to put all of life into perspective, especially in the romance department. We consider people damn lucky if they're actually parenting with someone they love and lust for. And any couple who can actually keep the "love mobile" afloat amid the chaos of everyday life with kids is certainly in it to win it. And, just for these couples, we have found the perfect Valentine's Day cards.

Keeping love alive amid all the sleeplessness and angst and gore of parenthood is no easy feat. And we think the couples who do this best are finding a way to keep it really real every day of the week. There are no silly or insane expectations about regular date nights or long nights of lovemaking. Nope, these couples are well aware those things only happen when we can squeeze them in between a hope and a prayer. 

More from CafeMom: 15 Worst Valentine's Day Gifts Received by Real Women

Here are 14 cards for all those realist partners in parenting out there in the trenches of raising kids. Exactly none of these cards are filled with the TIME-CONSUMING, sugar-coated stuff nobody's got time for. In fact, honest expressions of parent love have never been so absolutely spot-on. 

More from CafeMom: What Our Favorite Movie Couple's Romance Says About Our Own Relationship


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1You're Doing It Wrong

Love is love, but that doesn't mean there isn't always room for improvement in even the best relationships. Send your sweetheart the love, but for the sake of efficiency, make sure to provide some much-needed "feedback" too.  

"You're Doing It Wrong but I Love You Anyway" Card ($5, Julie Ann Art/Etsy)

2Whatever Life Brings ...

Your 5-year-old is going on Year 2 of potty-training, your 3-year-old will only eat white foods, and you and your sweetie would rather sleep than have sex most nights. It's okay. Celebrate the small wins. 

"Whatever Life Brings, At Least We Don't Have Ugly Kids" Card ($5, Spicy Cards/Etsy)

4Thanks for Loving Me

True love is about compromise ... and forgiveness. Make sure to thank your partner kindly if you've been bestowed some supreme forgiveness lately (because seriously, the finale? How could you?!!).

"Thanks for Loving Me Even When I Watch Our Show Without You" Card ($5, BAECKANN/Etsy)

5Fart

All the rose petals in the world can't cover up the truth about what happens deep under the covers late at night. You can stop buying the turkey chili anytime, but never miss a moment to make sure your sweets knows how much you love him or her regardless of that occasional bout with the boom boom pows. 

"I Love You Even Though You Sometimes Fart in Your Sleep" Card ($4, Spade Stationery/Etsy)

7Sorry for Keeping My Crazy to Myself

None of us can foresee the monsters we'll become once they tell us school starts promptly at 8:19 a.m. and gets out at 2:47 p.m., except on Thursday when it starts at 8:43 a.m. and gets out at 1:58 p.m. That's a schedule made for crazy. Be glad you have someone who understands. 

"Sorry for Keeping My Crazy to Myself" Card ($4, Bettie Confetti/Etsy)

8I'm So Glad We Got Drunk and Had Sex

Keep it simple. If this is how you got pregnant the first time, then flaunt and celebrate it! Planned parenthood stories are important to tell the teenagers, but drunk and sloppy on your first anniversary can work out just fine too. 

"I'm So Glad We Got Drunk and Had Sex" Card ($5, Julie Ann Art/Etsy)

11You Warm My Cold Black Heart

And they say romance is dead. We thinks not. 

"You Warm My Cold Black Heart" Card ($5, Hello! Lucky)

13I Licked It So It's Mine

Hey, this logic works for your 3-year-old and all the jelly beans, so surely you two have sealed the deal for good by now.   

"I Licked It So It's Mine" Card ($6, DeLuce Design/Etsy)

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