11 Things Women Don't Need Their Partner's Permission to Do

Liz Alterman | Dec 7, 2016 Love & Sex


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When folks are in a relationship, there may be certain things they ask their partner's input on before making a purchase, plan, or decision. But, for many women, asking their partners for "permission" is a pretty old-school maneuver. There's no way they're asking "permission" when it comes to small or even big-ticket items or plans they want to make. It seems a little weird and insulting to ask a guy for permission to do anything!

More from CafeMom: 20 Things No Woman Should Ever Do in Front of Her Husband

We asked women to share some of the times they pulled the trigger on a decision without wondering so much as a "Do they mind if ...?" and how that went over with their significant other. While some women say they do follow a set of loose rules, others are bold and unapologetic -- that's just their communication style. We can't decide what the right way is to communicate with a partner; all we know is that there are certain non-negotiables when it comes to what we refuse to ask permission for. And we aren't alone. Take a look at what these ladies said they would never ask permission from their partner to do. And who knows, it might just empower some others to act now, talk later. (Let's hope that works out okay.)

  • New Cars

    1

    "My husband and I don't ask each other permission before we get new cars. We've been together 17 years and trust each other to make big decisions. The first time I didn't tell him I was getting a new car (early in our marriage) was because it was an impulse trade-in, but it was so fun surprising him with it, we turned it into a tradition." -- Kim W., Los Angeles, California

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  • $500 Limit

    2

    "We have an understanding [that] anything over $500 is discussed if it's coming out of the family account. We both have mad money accounts and purchases out of those accounts are not subject to the same 'rules.'

    We also both do not get loans or mortgages without discussing first. I hope everyone follows the same rule, lol." -- Tia, Texas 

  • Asking Permission = Ridiculous

    3

    "As a woman in the twenty-first century, asking permission is ridiculous, since it implies a hierarchy. If I want to color my hair, I do (and I do it often!) and if I want to buy a sweater, I have my own bank account and you'd better believe I purchase the sh*t out of that sweater without asking my boyfriend first. That being said, everything with my partner is on equal ground, so we discuss things and inform one another about everything -- super different from asking permission! He checks in to let me know he's going out with his friends one night, I ask if there are any schedule conflicts before inviting a friend over for dinner. The system hasn't failed us yet!" -- Lauren S., Brooklyn, New York

  • Haircut

    4

    "Changing my hair color or style? No, I don't ask for permission, nor do I inform him ahead of time -- it's my hair. I've never seen the need." -- Terri M., Bellevue, Washington

  • Separate but Equal

    5

    "We have separate finances, so there is no need to ask each other permission." -- Diana, Missouri

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  • Getting Out of Town

    6

    "If I'm going somewhere during the day, no, I don't even inform him unless it's something exciting or scary. He's at work, nothing is going to conflict with his schedule." -- Terri M., Bellevue, Washington

  • My Clothing, My Decision

    7

    "I don't ask permission for anything. I will ask him every once in a while if he thinks something would look good, such as an outfit or a haircut/color. But I don't ask him if it's okay." -- Nickhole C., Missouri

  • No Permission for Anything

    8

    "Neither of us ask permission for anything. If it's a significant decision, we will run it by one another to be sure we are on the same page.

    I do sometimes ask his opinion on things he is more informed about than I am, as he does with things I am more informed about. But we have been together long enough and know each other well enough that we can operate independently if we want/need to but know when it's necessary to run things by each other. "

  • Courtesy Calendar Check

    9

    "I never 'ask' him for his permission. I am an adult and don't need to ask anyone for permission for anything, but I do let him know what I am doing and make sure he's not got anything planned that would interfere with mine. He does the same with me." -- Carol C., Eugene, Oregon

  • Pricey Shoes

    10

    "I don't ask my husband for permission for anything, even if I'm going to spend $3K of his money on shoes or something ridiculous. Rather than 'getting permission,' we talk about everything and take each other's feelings and advice into consideration when making decisions, big or small. We notify each other of plans and share our opinions on said plans and move forward from there. Don't all people do this?" -- Kris

  • Tattoo

    11

    "When it comes to things like changing my hair or getting a tattoo, it's my body and I will do what I like with it. Of course, there are rules in my marriage such as no cheating, lying, or abuse, but asking permission for things I want isn't one of them." -- Hope, Chicago, Illinois

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