This Personality Trait Is Way Sexier Than How You Look

couple washing dishes together

Sorry, Kim K. It's not twerking underwater that makes you sexier. It's being helpful.


That's not just our opinion, BTW. Resuts of two recent studies published in the British Journal of Psychology suggest an interesting theory: that altruism -- aka lending a helping hand without expecting anything in return -- leads to more sex. And that's not (cough, cough) just referring to altruism in the bedroom.

In the first study, researchers asked participants to rate how helpful they considered themselves. Those that ranked themselves handy with the dishes, or the partner that offered to carry the groceries, also reported having more casual sex, more partners, AND more sex within their relationships.

In other words, they were super helpful.

The other study gave participants imaginary money, then asked if they'd be willing to donate it. Perhaps no surprise to researchers, those who were like, "Hell, I'd give it all away!" reported having WAY more sex over the past year than their skinflint-y Scrooge McDuck counterparts.

Interesting? Totally. Nice guys (and girls!) finish first after all. (Insert your own sex joke here.)

But aren't you curious as to why?

Researchers theorize that altruism is a desirable trait that's evolved in human beings. Presumably, a smart Cro-Magnon gal would fall head over heels for a man who's willing to share his cave on a cold and rainy night. But what about now, when looks and status seem to have risen (floated?) to the list of attractive qualities in a partner?

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"Altruism is the selfless concern for others, and as this study shows, it is sexy," notes Paul Hokemeyer, PhD, JD, a licensed marriage and family therapist who practices in Los Angeles, New York, and Telluride, Colorado. "It enables human beings to connect with one another in an emotional and deep way."

But it's as much about the physiology of our brains as it is about romance, he adds.

"Acts of altrusim cause our brains to release oxytocin, the exact same hormone our brains release when we cuddle or feel a romantic attraction to someone," Hokemeyer explains.

It's also closely connected to the endorphin rush you get after orgasm. See where we're going with this?

We're instinctively drawn to altruistic people, says Hokemeyer, "for the promise of their capacity to deliver not just comfort and concern, but explosive orgasms."

Now it all makes sense.

So go ahead. Graciously offer to deal with your kids' lame-o argument while your partner goes for a run. Or clean up the kitchen all by yourself.

Doing so will benefit you both.


Image via Daxiao Productions/Shutterstock

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