10 Single Moms Share Their Biggest Relationship Deal-Breakers

Happy date

If you think dating when you're single is hard, try being a single mom. (Yup, that's a whole new can of worms.) Between the unexpected schedule changes, trying to get your groove back, and just being Mom, there are a lot of working parts that go into a dating mother's life. It ain't always easy, but it's not impossible, either.

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While everyone is bound to run into someone who doesn't fit their list of criteria, these moms are opening up about major deal-breakers they simply can't overlook.

1. A man who disrespects his mother.

"Um, do men I date not get the memo that I am, in fact, a mom? If you call the woman who brought you into this world every name under the sun, you aren't the right one for me." -- Randi P.

2. Can't accept the fact that my kids are my priority.

"Just because I'm someone's mother does not mean I'm no longer capable of loving another person. I just can't run off into the sunset without making sure my children are taken care of first. I want to get remarried, but not at the cost of ignoring my responsibilities -- to prove I have room in my heart to fit another person. My kids are my priority." -- Gladys W.

3. Doesn't respect my decision to wait before I introduce you to my kids.

"It's kind of a big deal if and when you ever get to meet my children. Some people might be okay with bringing whomever they're dating at the time around their kids, but not me. If you can't respect my desires to wait until we figure each other out, you're not the person I'm supposed to be with." -- Laurel G.

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4. Forget my kids and I are a package deal.

"When I love, I love hard. That doesn't mean I'm going to be head-over-heels for someone and neglect my children. If you're going to be with me, you're going to have to accept all of me, including my kids." -- Amber W.

5. Tries to act like a stepparent too soon.

"Listen, just because I'm a single mother doesn't mean I'm looking for someone to be my child's father tomorrow. He has one. It's great that you want to be more involved in my kid's life, but please, pump the breaks a little." -- Yariela P.

6. Drops by the house unannounced.

"As much as you might like me on a date, when I'm at home, I'm mama bear -- and you best not think about swinging by my house unannounced and at random hours, especially if the relationship is still new." -- Tracee S.

7. Fails to understand my busyness is not a brush off.

"I really wish I could find someone who understands that changes in my schedule doesn't equal a brush-off. Sometimes, babysitters fall through, there's a conflict with my ex, or my child gets sick. It doesn't mean I'm any less 'in' the relationship. But I am a mother." -- Cassidy T.

8. Doesn't give my child enough time to get used to the situation.

"My son is 4, and because he's so young, he doesn't always understand why Mommy and Daddy are no longer together. Dating a single mother takes patience that not every love interest can give. All the pieces will eventually work together, you just gotta give them time to properly fit." -- Irina F.

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9. Argue about my ex still being in the picture. (He's not going anywhere.)

"It might be hard for people who don't have kids to realize this, but you kinda have to keep somewhat of a relationship with your child's father. This means I have to talk to my ex on a pretty regular basis so we can coordinate schedules and plans for our daughter. I really need someone who's mature enough to understand that. Being cordial with my child's father does not mean we're screwing. Please stop making him an issue." -- Emily L.

10. Doesn't have their own stuff together -- and expects me to make sense of their future.

"I'm already a mother of two and don't need any more dependents. I don't need a printout of your life goals, but do hope you have some. Having children definitely helps to put your life in focus. I need to do my best to be successful for them, and hope my life partner has the same ambitions." -- Rachael A.

 

 

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