11 Signs He's Mr. Right & Not Mr. Right Now

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It can be hard to determine whether or not you're finally with "the One." Sometimes, our emotions get the best of us, which messes with our ability to confuse Mr. Right with Mr. Right Now. Dating can be tough; you just might have to kiss a bunch of frogs to finally get to your prince.

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Whether the clouds part and the heavens send you a sign or not, you're going to have to make a decision about the person you're with -- and if he is the one you should marry.

We asked several experts to weigh in on top signs to look out for that should make you want to say "I do."

1. He's loving and communicates his feelings in a way you understand.

Many couples can spend a lifetime arguing because they think their partner doesn't love them, when the truth of the matter is, their partner might not know how to properly show it. As Dr. Dominick D. Hankle, a family therapist and psychologist, points out, it's important for lovers to really ask themselves if their partner can communicate their feelings. "If your partner communicates love in a way you don’t understand, he or she may be loving but you’re just not picking up on it," says Dr. Hankle. "Get to know how your partner communicates these things and invest in understanding their language of love. Likewise, teach them to understand yours. It’s important you marry someone who is loving and communicates love to you in a way you understand."

2. He encourages you to live in your truth.

"If you realize that being with your guy allows you to be who you really are, and live according to your core values -- those attributes of life that you MUST have in order to feel right with the world -- it's a good sign you are with the right guy," notes Dr. John McGrail, a self-improvement expert and performance coach.

3. You two share similar interests.

As much as opposites do attract, sharing the same interests can give you staying power. "We tend to be more comfortable with someone who shares our values and beliefs ... When you and your partner share these characteristics, you eliminate them as sources of conflict," reveals Dr. Rob Pascale, research psychologist and co-author of Making Marriage Work: Avoiding the Pitfalls and Achieving Success. "You also have an easier time communicating about many topics because you can relate to each other's point of view."

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4. He has a willingness to compromise.

When it comes to relationships, arguing is inevitable. No matter how much you love someone, you won't always see eye-to-eye 24/7 -- and that's okay. Psychologist Dr. Nikki Martinez says a tell-tale sign your guy is worth marrying is whether or not he can meet you halfway. "If they [can] attack the issue, and never you personally, they have a good head on their shoulders," adds Dr. Martinez.

5. He doesn't try to control you or the relationship.

"Trying to change our partner is not only unreasonable; it can be harmful to the relationship," cautions Dr. Martinez. "Typically the spouse who wants the other to change continues to be disappointed, and that can cause them to stay frustrated and angry." The more a partner tries to control his or her lover, the more division it creates in a relationship. Some are able to fix their issues while others will buckle under pressure. "Such problems can't easily be resolved because partners are really working toward opposite objectives. Without resolution, they're likely to hold on to their anger and resentment even when they're not arguing about who should change what," adds Dr. Martinez.

6.  He displays emotional maturity across the board.

"Some of the key things to look for when considering a husband is how he resolves conflict, his level of empathy toward others, if he is easily forgiving of people’s faults in general, and his ability to self-introspect without falling into anger or self-pity," mentions Dr. Chantal Marie Gagnon, relationship and marriage expert. "Those [sic] indicate that he likely has the emotional maturity to partner in creating a successful marriage."

7. He's respectful to others -- including his mother.

This one is a biggie. As Dr. Karen Sherman, author of Mindfulness and the Art of Choice: Transform Your Life and Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last, points out, the relationship a man has with his mother can be very telling about how he treats women. "If he treats his mom well, it's likely he will do the same for you," says Dr. Sherman. In addition, you should want to be with a man who treats others with respect, even those in a "subordinate" position. The same also goes for your own circle of family and friends. (He doesn't need to be their BFF, but he should respect them.)

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8. He makes himself available to you.

"If you have never observed a disappearing act, unanswered phone calls, failure to show for scheduled dates, and sudden obligations that make them unavailable, you might want to give this relationship a go," advises Linda F. Williams, a certified personal and professional life coach. "If there is a rare instance of this, a good man will apologize and do better going forward."

9. He's open and does what he says he's going to do.

Every woman deserves to be with a man who can open his heart to her, communicate his feelings, and follow through with his plans. "Nice words are great, but actions are better," points out Dr. Karen Sherman. "Does he follow through on what he says, and does he do so consistently? These add to creating a sense of trust -- another foundational aspect to a solid relationship."

10. He has plans for the future.

Honey, if the guy you like ain't thinking about his future -- or making serious plans, instead of just spouting off dreams -- head for the hills. You don't need to be with a person who will later become your dependent. "Dating someone who is passionate about life and his career is great, but you should ask yourself -- does he have an actual plan for the future?" recommends Erika Kybartas, professional matchmaker and dating expert with It's Just Lunch Chicago. "Sure, a guy who wants to become a rock star may have goals and a guitar, but is he taking steps to really make his dream a reality? Are his goals in line with an actual future that you two can build together? Look for someone with direction, motivation, ambition ... and a plan!"

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11. Your intuition isn't warning you to run.

In most cases, our inner voice tries to warn us when it senses danger. Sometimes we listen, and other times, we silence it, for the sake of our emotions. So, if you're having second thoughts about a guy you're dating, take the time to listen to your gut. "Never subjugate intuition to anything someone says," warns Linda F. Williams. "This warning sign is there for a reason."

 

 

Image via A and N Photography/Shutterstock

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