11 Things Women Should Be Able to Invoice to Men

Things we should invoice men for

It often seems that being a woman comes with many perks (and it does), but there are some things that I just can't be bothered with when it comes to womanhood -- namely the expenses. When considering how easy men have it with their low-maintenance, zero-need-to-please grooming habits, one can clearly see we got the short end of the stick, for sure. 


And, of course, there are some things we do for ourselves on this list, but for all the times we did them for men -- here's what they owe us for!

1. Bikini Waxes

Just one of the many painful things we go through for guys. Consider it an investment (they can pay with pleasure). 

2. Lingerie

Since my old, comfy T-shirts just don't ride up my @ss uncomfortably enough.

3. Housework (Basically, Everything)

It's like being a housekeeper without the actual title. If the kids get paid for chores, why don't I? 

4. Childbirth

We need reparations for this, like yesterday. After all, there's a price to keeping things sexy and the "same" after babies shoot out of our vaginas. We'll invoice per session of Kegels.

5. Birth Control

What the hell -- why not? If we're avoiding the ridiculously pricey expense of baby diapers, shouldn't we be in this together?

6. Teeth Whitening

... Because they're always telling us -- yes, even the guys we don't know, who just see us walking down the street -- to "smile, baby."

7. Time Spent With His Mother Family

This one is a chore all by itself -- no matter how enjoyable they can be at times. It's really one of those damned if you do, damned if you don't things. And if your guy happens be a mama's boy, you should get to bill double. Ugh, thank God major holidays are far off. 

8. Makeup

Just enough. But not too much. And don't look "slutty." But always look put together. Anything else we can do (or not do) to our faces to be okay enough for them?

9. Time Wasted

For all those sh*tty first dates, relationships gone awry, and the times he swore he could get you all there without Siri. Need I say more? Nope.

10. High Heels

Or we'll take a foot rub at the end of the night and a pedicure, if you have the skills. 

11. Therapist

Britney Spears said it best: "You drive me crazy, I just can't sleep ..." -- she just forgot to mention the many other things that man-made crazy fog won't allow us to do. 


We accept cash, Visa, MasterCard, and Paypal -- NO checks, please and thank you. Pay up!

Image via Burger/phanie/Phanie Sarl/Corbis

Read More >