Women Still Can't Seem to Deal With This Trait in a Man

woman turned off by man

Holy double standards! Glamour just came out with the results of their new sexuality survey. And while 63 percent of women surveyed said that they believe sexual orientation can change, the exact same number said that they would not date a man who's dated another man.


There's soooo much to talk about in regards to this survey, which polled just over 1,000 women between the ages of 18–44. Like how 31 percent of women said they'd been with another woman. And only 3 percent viewed sex as the most important part of a relationship.

But what struck us as the most surprising -- and kind of sort of definitely unfair -- was how strongly women were opposed to a male partner who identified as being sexually fluid, too.

Does this mean that although it's NBD for Miley Cyrus to be with other women, she'd be all "Ugh, no, Liam Hemsworth, you're gross!" if he admitted he'd had a relationship with another hot male actor?

(That's a hypothetical, by the way. We don't know anything that you don't know.)

"A double standard has always existed," says Fran Walfish, PsyD, a Beverly Hills, California, relationship psychotherapist, author of The Self-Aware Parent, and costar of Sex Box on WE.tv. "It has long been more acceptable to consider the fantasy, or even actual, threesome involving one male and two females. Women being sexual with women has long been a male turn-on."

More from The Stir: 12 People Confess Why They're Just Not That into Sex (PHOTOS)

The idea of sexual fluidity isn't new, either, Walfish points out. "The Kinsey Report, conducted in 1948, concluded that human sexuality is on a continuum and that an individual's sexual orientation is often in flux," she explains. "It is absolutely natural and normal for both female and male heterosexual people to be sexually attracted to genitals of opposite and same-sex individuals."

Although many women who participated in the study identified themselves as "sexually fluid," Walfish doesn't believe that's the case for all women  -- even millennials, who view dating as a thing of the past and gravitate toward hookups instead.

While they may have learned to successfully split apart emotional desire with sexual attraction, says Walfish, "the typical [young woman] who lands on my couch doesn't endorse sexual fluidity. They express a powerful need and desire for exclusivity in a committed relationship."

So if a man they like admits that he is sexually fluid, see how that can be a turn-off? "They may worry, unconsciously or not, that he's not a viable long-term partner," says Walfish.

How that remains to get worked out is anyone's guess. Divorce rates are already hovering around 50 percent, so committed relationships in general are on rocky ground.

"Something has to give," says Walfish.

And who knows? Maybe it will be that weird double standard.



Image via wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock

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