How 11 Women Make It Work With Partners Who Fail at Romance

Wendy Robinson | Feb 5, 2016 Love & Sex
How 11 Women Make It Work With Partners Who Fail at Romance

coupleHe is the love of your life. The father of your children. The one who makes you laugh. So what if he wouldn't know a romantic gesture if it bit him on the butt.

While we might daydream about massages, candlelit dinners, and surprise gifts, some guys just don't have that in them. But romance doesn't equal love, at least according to the very patient wives we talked to who were willing to reveal how they cope with a life lacking in the romance department.


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  • Redefine Romance

    1 skynesher

    "We've been together for almost 10 years, and I've gotten flowers exactly ZERO times. He just doesn't think about it. But he does know my coffee order and he always listens when I talk. I think that is romance though too, right?" -- Jackie B., Baltimore, Maryland

  • Girl Time

    2 Thomas_EyeDesign

    "My husband never buys me gifts. Like, ever. Not for Christmas or Mother's Day or even my birthday. He is a great husband, minus this one totally crappy thing. Good thing my girlfriends make up for it by always going all out for my birthday. They give him crap for it too, which I frankly enjoy." -- Constance H., Tucson, Arizona

  • Spell it Out


    "My husband is loving but clueless. He just doesn't think about romantic stuff. I have to totally spell it out for him, like, 'If you run me a bath, you can watch me being naked and covered in bubbles.' Then he gets on board." -- Jennifer D., Hershey, Pennsylvania

    More from The Stir: Quiz: Will Your Marriage Last?

  • Not Just Guys


    "I don't know if this is comforting to you guys, but I'm a lesbian and my WIFE sucks at the romance thing too. It isn't just guys who get lazy." -- Jaime J., Clovis, California

  • Focus on the Family


    "Valentine's Day will never be Kyle's thing. I've just accepted that. Now I look at Valentine's Day as a special day to do loving things for my new baby. I have a very tiny valentine this year!" -- Jennifer T., Bemidji, Minnesota

  • Other Plans

    6 omgimages

    "My husband is a total nerdy introvert. I love him, video games and all, but sometimes I just want to go out on the town. Thank goodness for girls' night. Sometimes I just want to dance!" -- Beth W., Phoenix, Arizona

  • Purse Tax


    "Every so often I buy myself a new purse and tell my husband that it is his 'purse tax' for never buying me gifts. He knows not to ask how much it cost." -- Carrie J., Dayton, Ohio

  • I Give Up


    "I don't know if I've, like, really made peace with his total failure to have a romantic side, but I do know that after 12 years, I've stopped getting my hopes up." -- Karen V., Denver, Colorado

    More from The Stir: 10 Signs He's Definitely in Love With You

  • What I Really Want

    9 Habur

    "Something that helps me deal with the fact that my husband never plans anything is to ask myself what I really want. Like, if I'm mad he never makes dinner reservations, is what I really want for him to make plans or to have a nice dinner? If the answer is that I want to go somewhere nice for dinner, I can make the plans and we'll go and have a great time. I just need to get over myself." -- Misty H., Topeka, Kansas

  • Love & Laughter

    10 Chernaev

    "He isn't romantic. AT ALL. But he is the funniest damn person I've ever met. I'd rather have funny anyways." -- Marie Lynn A., Roseville, Minnesota

  • Who Cares?


    "My ex loved the big romantic gesture: flowers, trips, new clothes, lots of gifts. I think he used it to distract me from the fact that he was actually kind of a dick.

    "My husband isn't romantic but he is kind. Who cares about romance?" -- Anna N., Des Moines, Iowa

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