Cheating Husband's Dramatic Apology Isn't as Heartfelt as It Sounds

husband begging forgivenessHere's something that sounds like it's going to make us ALL grab a box of tissues: A cheating husband who used writes an open letter to all men, urging them not to make his same mistakes, after coming clean to his wife and begging forgiveness. Romantic, bittersweet, generous, etc., right? Unfortunately, all we can do is say, "Yeah. Whatevs."


We're not heartless, mind you. And we always cherish a genuine, heartfelt apology. But, um, we're not sure this one is.

You've prob heard about the recent Ashley Madison scandal. Hackers who value marriage, yet not so much the law or people's privacy, announced that they'd accessed data of 37 million users -- and threatened to reveal their identities.

If you think Ashley Madison was the name of a girl you went to high school with and didn't like much, you're probably right. But it's also the name of a website where married men and women can sign up to have illicit affairs.

While that and the site's tagline -- "Life is Short. Have an Affair" -- are pretty sleazy, we can't get past the stupid name. Why not just call it (So, maybe we're going into this scenario a little jaded.)

A British man who uses the name "Douglas" on Ashley Madison decided that in light of the fact that his cheating may soon be exposed to the world, he should clue in his wife. (Insert lightbulb emoji here.)

Then, he penned an open letter to the Mirror, begging other men to rethink cheating on their wives.

More from The Stir: Is This Cheating? 10 Things Besides Affairs That Could Spell Trouble

It's a nice sentiment. And Douglas says all the right things. For instance:

I went weeks feeling overwhelming sadness and prayed to God to forgive me for even desiring to look outside my marriage.

And this:

This is like being between life and your own death. The pain is fresh and constant.

He reiterates how guilty he feels and that his confession may cost him the people in his life he loves the most. And for that, we feel for him.

But we STILL find it hard to feel he's completely and totally sincere.

Maybe it's the fact that his letter focuses almost entirely on how HE feels, rather than the emotional aftermath of his family. Maybe it's the fact that the only thing that made him confess to his wife was the fear of being found out.

Or, well, maybe we're still annoyed that he gave money -- for YEARS -- to a website that has such a dumb name.

Someone needs to tell Douglas that grand displays aren't necessarily better. He's not necessarily MORE sorry simply because he published this letter in a newspaper. (Anonymously, we might add.) What we'd rather see is Douglas stop wallowing in his own self-pity and gain a little empathy for his WIFE. A little self-realization goes a loooong way.

Cheating happens. Marriages DO survive. But for that to happen, we're guessing Douglas needs to stop SAYING the "right" things, and DO them instead.


Image via KatarzynaBialasiewicz/iStock

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