How Gwyneth Paltrow Gets Through the 'Hate' of Divorce

gwyneth paltrowSometimes Gwyneth Paltrow makes it seem like her life is perfect. Even when she goes through something difficult, like divorce, she calls it "conscious uncoupling" and then goes ahead and posts three ways to cook chicken on her website GOOP. Everything's perfect! But even Gwynnie has feelings. Gwyneth opened up about divorce and co-parenting, and even talked about how to make nice for the kids when you "hate" your ex. Yes, Gwyneth got real!


Gwyneth and Chris Martin were married for 10 years and have two kids together -- Apple is now 11 and Moses is 9. Divorce is never easy, and it could have seemed that Gwyneth and Chris took the whole thing in stride, but they didn't. Gwyn opened up at this weekend's BlogHer conference in NYC about how "hard" it was. Regarding Chris and their split, she shared:

I think, unfortunately, though we couldn't stay in a romantic relationship, we're very, our values are very much around the importance of family and the importance of those relationships and I'm lucky that we're aligned in that way. And it's been hard, and you know, like, we've gone through really difficult times with it but we've always said these children are our priority. 

What that really means is, 'Even though today, you hate me and you never want to see me again, like, we're going to brunch, 'cause it's Sunday and that's what we'll do!' You know, like, 'That's what's happening!' Like, the children are our commitment.

It's definitely imperfect but it gets easier with time and you know, we're really good friends. I like him. He's great. He's a great dad and so, I feel lucky that we both, along the way, have been able to really put down our own stuff while we're together with the family and that we make it a priority to be together so that the transition for the children wasn't, you know, as brutal as it could be.

And everybody does it in their own way. It's hard and I would never judge anyone for doing it any way. Just, for us, we thought if we could maintain the family even though we're changing the shape of it, it would be, that would be our ideal scene and so, that's what we're trying to do.

More from The Stir: Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin Don't Let Divorce Get in Way of Family Time

I love this. When you get divorced, you have to put those emotions revolving around your ex aside for the children. That is what parenting is all about here. And clearly, Gwyneth and Chris are getting it right. It's not easy -- not at all. But something happens and you just have to switch your thought, your focus. It's no longer about what went wrong in the marriage, or why you "hate" the other person; it's about making sure the kids still feel like they have a family. Because they do.

I understand this completely. Divorce, two kids ... living it. It's hard, and I relate to Gwyneth very much here. But you push through the awkward times, you put aside the anger, you put those kids first.

More from The Stir: Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin Can Vacation Together Because They Have 1 Important Thing

They are still very much a family, and will always be. They even went on a vacation to Mexico in April, and they spent Valentine's Day together for the kids. And while that sounds a bit Hollywood to me (Ben and Jen vacationed as exes with their kids, too), I really appreciate the occasional family dinners and holidays I spend with my ex and my kids as a family. I also appreciate how Gwyneth shared this with everyone -- she's human, she has feelings, she is relatable.


Image via gwynethpaltrow/Instagram

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