13 Women Reveal the Compromises That Keep Their Relationships Afloat

Stephanie Booth | Jul 30, 2015 Love & Sex
13 Women Reveal the Compromises That Keep Their Relationships Afloat

couple with hearts over their eyesMarriage is all about give-and-take. Not just whose turn it is now to check on the crying baby, but compromises you'll make throughout the duration of your life together.

You're in it (hopefully) for better AND for worse, and that means you and your partner will both need to take turns getting exactly what you want. (Or giving what the other's insisting.)

That said, this delicate balancing act requires a lot of humor. Here, 12 women share the tricks and compromises they depend on to keep their marriages on an even keel.


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  • Pretending It's All Awesome


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    "I dislike bowling, football, fish, conventional living, cooking dinner -- and visiting his family to name a few. But I do those things with a smile on my face for the sake of my marriage." -- Anonymous

  • Relinquishing Control of the You-Know-What


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    "Our biggest compromise has been on housework. He's very clean. I really don't care. So I've raised my standards, he's lowered his, and we've found a pretty good balance." -- Anonymous

  • Letting Him Fry Up the Bacon


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    "I became a vegetarian a few years ago, but my husband still eats meat. I don't like cooking it anymore -- so I don't. If my husband's craving bacon or burgers, he'll cook it for himself and our kids while I make myself a veggie option. A bonus: He also cleans up the kitchen afterwards." -- Anonymous

  • Trading To-Dos


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    "We make the bed together every morning. I get him coffee since he's not a morning person, and he doesn't leave clothes on the floor -- ever -- because it drives me up the wall instantly." -- Theresa M., Bellevue, WA

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  • Loving Where You Live


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    "Our biggest compromise was in our home. I wanted 10+ acres in the country. My husband wanted some place with neighbors close by and less land to care for. We came up with a good compromise: We have one acre of land, but it's all wooded and very private ... I get to feel like I have my land, and he gets the convenience of being in a neighborhood." -- Katherine P., North Pole, AK

  • Setting Boundaries


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    "I won't kill his mother when she moves up here -- if he stands up to her as far as boundaries are concerned. I know. It's too generous of me." -- Anonymous

  • Spending the Weekend Together (and Apart)


    Image via iStock.comKatarzynaBialasiewicz

    "For a while there, [my boyfriend] and I would never want to make fun weekend plans because he had too much work to catch up on. It would always end up that we just chilled [but] ... he wouldn't start working until Sunday night. Finally, we worked out that Saturdays are strictly for fun, especially as a couple, and Sundays he goes into the office and I do whatever I want." -- Samantha F., Los Angeles, CA

  • Taking a Breath


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    "When it comes to disciplining our boys, I'm the calm, collected one while he gets upset fast. Instead of talking it over, he immediately puts them in a time-out or sends them to their room. We've talked about it, and he now asks for help to step away for a few minutes to gather himself. This has not only helped with the kids, but our relationship." -- Cecily M., Phoenix, AZ

    More from The Stir: 4 Communication Pitfalls in Relationships -- and How to Fix Them

  • Letting Go


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    "This past year, we decided it would work best for my husband to become a SAHD. I've had to learn to let him run our household his way. This has included being cool with Hamburger Helper dinners, dishes left in the sink, and getting our daughter an adorable short haircut so she could avoid morning hair duty ... Once I relaxed, we couldn't be happier." -- Anita S., Houston, TX

  • Learning to Love Football


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    "I hate football, so our compromise is that I won't complain about him watching [it] if he kisses me passionately every time his team scores a touchdown." -- Christey M., Chicago, IL

  • NOT Sharing Everything


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    "He's a spender, and I'm a saver. Our joint financial business gets done through our account together, but our personal spending is separated. We get allowances every week." -- Anonymous

  • Taking Sides


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    "My parents don't treat my SO fairly, because we're not married. We have four kids together and have been a couple for 18 years but that makes no difference to [them]. ... Our compromise: He's not obligated to attend any family gathering my parents hold. It's easier to say he's working -- which he is half the time anyway, so we leave it at that." -- Jill E., Ontario, Canada

  • Managing Screen Time


    Image via iStock.com/Minerva Studio

    "Our big compromise is TV. My husband likes gore like The Walking Dead, but it's too much for me. I'm all about sitcoms, but we want to watch something together. Buying a DVR basically saved our marriage. We'll curl up on the couch to watch 'my' shows, then he'll get his zombie fix after I go to sleep." -- Anonymous

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