Woman Confronts Obnoxious Guy Who Fat-Shamed Her After Their First Date

michelle thomas instagramThe rule of first dates is kinda like the first rule of Fight Club: You DON'T talk about it -- or, well, you don't talk about what's not clicking. You just politely walk away.


Unfortunately, not everyone has seen Fight Club. Or is a decent human being. So when they go on first dates, their poor unsuspecting partners are in for a s***storm.

Take 30-year-old Michelle Thomas, a blogger and cafe manager in London, who recently had that experience. Michelle met a guy on Tinder, then spent an evening having drinks, dinner, and a walk along the Thames, reports the Daily Mail. The evening ended with a kiss.

Don't say "Awww!" just yet.

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The next day, when he realized he just wasn't feeling it, this guy COULD have emailed, called, or texted any number of white lies to Michelle. "I'm not ready for a relationship," for instance. Or, "Work is nuts. Catch up with you in a few months."

We ALL know these mean "Thanks, but no thanks."

But nope. Michelle's date took it upon himself to write a missive about why, exactly, he was not attracted to her. He wrote:

I really enjoyed your company and actually adore you. You're cheeky and funny and just the sort of girl I would love to go out with if only my body and mind would let me. But I fear it won't. I'm not going to bulls***t you ... My mind gets turned on by someone slimmer.

He then went on (and ON) to explain that this was a natural reaction, "the same reaction you get when you read a great author or see an amazing image." And how "I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed, my body would let me down. I don't want that to happen baby."

He assured her that he would marry her if she was "a slip of a girl," but he's "trying to avoid bigger pain in the future by telling you now so we don't have to go through that embarrassment."

Um, thanks?

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Michelle understandably burst into tears after reading the cruel attack on her appearance. (She's gorgeous, BTW.) But after thinking about it for a few days, she decided to share the jerk's post on her blog and Facebook page -- along with a response.

It's pretty brilliant. (And, we might add, much better written than HIS.)

She wrote:

You don't have to fancy me ... And that's fine. What isn't fine is the fact that ... you took the time to write this utterly uncalled-for message. It's nothing short of sadistic.

She went on to tell him that the "forensic detail" in which he described his disgust for her body was "grotesque." But Michelle didn't just slam him. She confessed that his note had "stirred a dormant fear" in her -- one that every woman who was once an overweight teenager has: that they're undesirable.

She added:

What truly concerns me is that you have a 13-year-old daughter. I want you to encourage [her] to love, enjoy, and care for her body. It belongs to her and only her.

Since the note hit the Internet, Michelle's received hundreds of supportive messages from women AND men. (How great would it be if one of them turned out to be Mr. Right?) And hopefully, her "ex" has been successfully schooled in body image, being careful with other people's feelings, and How Not to Be an Ass.

But it's kind of sad this had to happen in the first place. And Michelle's not the only one who's been fat-shamed online. Remember the blogger last month who tweeted about the texts from a guy she'd met on a dating site? He told her, "You need to f***ing lose weight ... It's the ONLY reason I haven't made something happen."

Dudes everywhere, take care of your OWN body, and stop imposing your views on someone else's. You wouldn't say to someone, "Man, I'd love you if your hair was red instead of black." Or, "I wish you were Asian instead of white."

Women are not custom-designable. If that's what you're after, buy a blow-up doll. 

All that said, we think Michelle's super-lucky. Not just because she successfully put this jerk in his place, but because she didn't waste years dating someone who didn't adore her just the way she is.

We should all be so lucky.

What would you do if a guy like this called you out about your weight?


Images via msmthomas/Instagram

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