Wives Confess the Bartering They Do in the Bedroom

couple arm wrestlingA few days ago, comedian Cerrome Russell started a Twitter game, #SexDraft. "One of my friends on Twitter asked what sex things do men not like that women do," Russell explained to Cosmopolitan.

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He elaborated:

So I started the sex draft kind of like NFL free agency, where you trade something you don't like and get something in return.

The results went viral -- hilariously.

A lot of the contributions are too racy to publish here (we highly recommend checking them out, though). But this got us talking among ourselves to see how common this phenomenon is in real life. So, we asked some of our friends and other moms what their sex trades are -- or would be.

Now, mind you, we of course wholeheartedly endorse having a loving, responsive, mutually-satisfying sexual relationship with your S.O. guided by clear communication. But we also know the reality is a little messier than that, and every couple does their own bit of bartering.

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All of these comments are from anonymous women.

"If he wants blowjobs, he better be clean down there! No kissing until teeth have been brushed, because morning breath, duh. Will exchange doggie style for fantastic cunnilingus."

"He's gotta be recently showered if I'm going to go down on him. And if he wants anything in the direction of the butt, he must provide the alcohol."

"If I have sex with [my husband], he will a) not fall asleep right afterwards, and b) fix whatever needs fixing around the house the following day. It's the only way I get any home repairs done!"

"I'd love him to go down on me in exchange for me getting down on my hands and knees to clean the three toilets in our house. Ugh."

"I ask for endless massages in exchange for sex. It's a win-win."

"I just got an AWESOME massage recently and gave it up for anal (my first time). Not sure if it was worth it, ha ha."

"I'll trade hubby a BJ if he washes my car or if he cleans the bathroom floor and toilet. Needles to say, I drive a shiny car and hardly ever have to clean the bathroom."

Like we said, ideally sex is something that happens in the moment with both of you being generous, caring to please each other. But sometimes a little negotiation goes a long ways toward keeping you both happy in bed. Ain't nothing wrong with that!

Do you and your spouse have any sexual trade-offs?

 

Image via Voyagerix/Shutterstock

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