15 Painful Secrets Men Have Confessed to Their Wives

Adriana Velez | Jun 22, 2015 Love & Sex

divorcing couple
Some things are hard for a husband to admit to his wife, and we don't mean that time he broke your favorite platter. When he finally gathers the courage to tell you a secret he's been hiding, it can have a major impact on your relationship.

How will you respond? Here, 15 of the scariest things men have confessed to their wives.

Which of these strikes you as the worst to have to hear?


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  • Drug Use


    Image via Marcos Mesa Sam Wordley/Shutterstock

    One woman thought her husband was having a drinking problem ... until he admitted he was an IV heroin user. "This was after six years together," she says. "He did it for almost a year behind my back. He went to rehab and got sober."

  • Things He Did While He Was on Drugs


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    For another husband, it was confessing all the things he'd done while he was on drugs. "It was all before we met, but he was still ashamed about a lot of it," his wife explains.

  • Adult Movies


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    Some husbands have had a hard time admitting they watch X-rated films or that they're addicted to it. But this guy takes the cake: "He was running an [adult] site," his wife shares. "He told me about it like it was something he was proud about and like I had to accept it."

    More from The Stir: Your Husband's Naughty Online Habits Are Not Cheating

  • He Thinks He Caused His Parents' Divorce


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    "My husband blamed himself for one of his mother's divorces," one woman says. Her husband called a phone sex number out of curiosity when he was about 11 or 12. "When the phone bill came in, his mother went into a screaming rage and threw his stepdad out of the house. It was an ugly scene and an ugly divorce. He was too scared to tell his mother that he had made the call." What a burden for any kid to carry! But we suspect there must have been other issues causing tension in that marriage.

  • Accusations of Sexual Assault


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    Before they got together, one woman's husband had been accused of sexually assaulting a young woman while she was high. She didn't press charges, but she told all of their friends, and he was threatened and ostracized. Later on, it was revealed that she'd lied.

    "He told me this very early in our relationship because he was afraid of what people might say or do to me because that girl created such a bad reputation of him," the wife says. "Everyone eventually figured out that she had lied, but we still had to put up with a lot of guff from people for a few years after."

  • Sexually Transmitted Diseases


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    "My fiancé and I were together for two years before he admitted to me in tears that he had herpes," one woman admits. Fortunately, she did not catch it from him. But she's far from the only woman whose significant other admitted he had herpes (or other sexually transmitted diseases).

  • So. Much. Cheating.


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    So many husbands, so many confessions that they've cheated! "My husband admitted to cheating on me on almost every business trip (including one prostitute in Amsterdam)," says one woman.

    "Actually, I don't think his first [affair] was hard for him to confess at all," says another woman. "I found out about that on my own. The second, though, was hard, because he had to admit he had a second one that resulted in a child." Ouch.

  • His Cheating Past


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    Admitting that you've cheated in the past can be hard, too. One wife says her man not only confessed that he'd cheated on a previous girlfriend ... He also had unprotected sex with the woman and for all he knew could have another child out there. Worst of all: He had earlier lied about never having cheated before. 

    More from The Stir: 10 Classic Signs Your Man May Be Cheating

  • The Divorce Was His Fault


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    It was hard for one woman's husband to admit it was his fault that his previous marriage failed -- and that he'd also failed to maintain his relationship with his daughter by that marriage.

    "It took a lot of courage to finally take responsibility for his poor choices," she says. "When I came along, he fully expected me to care for [his daughter] while he drank at home. I put a quick stop to that shit and forced him into parenting classes, where he slowly became the dad he should have been all along. He's now incredibly close to his daughter and our two boys, and his ex-wife finally gets the validation of her frustrations she's had all these years."

    It's nice that she had empathy for the ex-wife! Sounds like everyone is better off now.

  • Childhood Molestation


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    Several men hide an especially sad secret: that they were molested or abused when they were young. "He was molested at age 5, several times, by a 12-year-old friend of his brother," says one wife.

    "He was raped at 16 by a 43-year-old woman, and when he tried to tell someone, they laughed at him, so he never tried to tell anyone again until he met me," says another.

    And a third woman say she knew her husband had been molested by his step-dad, but it wasn't until a year ago that he told her the details. "I was physically sick thinking about what he had gone through," she reveals. "I was so sad for him. He has never liked talking about that, so when he did I just felt like he was so brave." 

  • In Love With Another Woman


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    It's hard enough to tell your wife that you're in love with another woman. But one woman's husband told her he was in love with a drug-addicted former stripper who had lost custody of her five children. "He was leaving me and our three children to be with her," she says. "Then, two weeks later, she broke up with him and I took him back."

    It gets worse, though. "I finally left him five months ago after he told me he got an 18-year-old coworker pregnant and stole the money I had saved up for Christmas to get her an abortion." Um, wow ...

  • He's Gay ... -Ish


    Image via Syda Productions/Shutterstock

    "I'm gay" is one of the scariest things a man can reveal to his wife. But there's some gray area, too. One woman's husband confessed that he'd "almost" kissed his best man a year after their wedding. What?

    And then, there is the husband who confessed that not only was he gay, he'd had sex with his wife's brother. "He recently married my brother," she says. "There are no hard feelings. He can't change who he is. Plus, I met a really great guy and got remarried, as well. I actually have a wonderful sex life now and no longer have to think, 'Why don't we ever have sex?' whenever I go to bed." Good thing he spoke up!

  • His Fears


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    Men have so many secret fears. "He is afraid of water," one woman says her husband confessed to her.

    "He is scared that he is going to lose me," reports another.

    More from The Stir: 9 Secrets Most Men Hide From Their Wives

  • What Turns Him On


    Image via Lukatme/Shutterstock

    One man admitted to his wife that he wanted to try swinging. Another confessed he was into foot porn after his wife stumbled across a site. (She didn't care.) And a third woman says her husband likes to wear women's pantyhose. But this last fetish is actually disturbing: "He became aroused when I spoke of being raped."

  • Admitting a Problem Isn't Always the End


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    One husband admitted to his wife that he had cheated on her and that he had a gambling addiction. But it didn't end their marriage. "I'm just glad that no matter how hard it is for him to tell me something, he will," the wife explains. "He's not a man of many words or emotions either so it means a lot to me. We've obviously worked past all of this and are very happy together."

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