Most Women Won't Make the First Move & Risk Losing in Love

woman looking at phone waitingDuring an era in which we have multiple women running for president and examples everywhere of ladies "leaning in" and climbing the corporate ladder, you’d think that we'd would be comfortable taking the lead anywhere, right?


Not necessarily. According to a recent survey of more than 2,000 (heterosexual) women conducted by pharmaceutical company Merck, the vast majority of single women are reluctant to make the first move when it comes to connecting with a possible romantic partner.

Shockingly, fewer than one in 10 said they'll approach a guy, where that is in real life or online.

If may sound too wild to be true, but it applies to Lisa of St. Louis Park, Minnesota, a successful, financially-independent, and well-educated single woman who, at age 34, manages a staff of over 20 people while also finishing her graduate degree. Lisa admits that while she may "lean in" at work, she isn't one to strike up a convo with a guy. She explains:

I don’t know what my issue is! I’m totally okay being in the lead when it comes to work but when it comes to dating, I still hear my grandmother telling me that nice girls don’t make the first move!

Perhaps those "nice girl" messages that many women hear growing up are also why the study found that 24 percent of women feel uncomfortable talking about their sexual history with their doctors and 31 percent of women rarely discuss their sexual health with their partners.

More from The Stir: Why Women Can't Tell a Genuinely Nice Guy From a Creepy One

These failures to communicate can have some significant negative consequences. For instance, take the 29 percent of women who wait for their doctors to bring up the subject of birth control ... even when they have pressing questions about it.

Denise, a 36-year-old divorced single mom from Holland, Michigan, notes that at her last check-up, her doctor didn't bring up birth control at all. She shares:

I've been on the pill for almost 20 years now, and I sort of wondered if I should still be taking it now that I'm getting older, but for some reason, I just didn't ask. I guess I thought if there was something to worry about, he'd bring it up.

Ladies, we can do better than this!

Whether it is taking the risk and asking that cute guy out or starting a critical conversation about sexual health and history, maybe owning our love lives is the next area where women really need to show some confidence and leadership.

How comfortable are you making the first move? What about talking about your sexual history?


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