I Had a Threesome & My Husband Has No Clue

According to scientists, almost 85 percent of men and 56 percent of women report that they have had fantasies about threesomes. But is this an area where the reality measures up to the fantasy? Or are the emotions involved in having sex with more than one partner more complicated than you might expect?

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For one married mother of two, Leslie L. (not her real name), having a threesome is an experience she doesn’t regret ... but will also never do again. Here, she explains why.

When did you have your threesome?
Well, it happened more than once, but it was back in my "sowing my wild oats" phase before I was married and had kids.

Was this with your husband or a prior partner? Was it planned?
My husband was never involved! He actually doesn’t know that I’ve had a threesome. Our married sex life is pretty conventional, and he would NOT be into that kind of thing. I've never brought it up with him. And the times when it happened were never planned. It just sort of happened, and the people involved just went with it. We were all very intoxicated!

Is this something you would consider doing again, or is it more a part of your past "pre-mom" life?
Well, like I said, I don't think my husband would be into it nor would I really want to do that now. I'd be too jealous at this stage in my life. And it was easier in the past, because the people I did it with were more acquaintances, not really friends or people I was close with. I was definitely more sexually experimental before marriage.

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Do you think it would be harder for the average woman to have a threesome with someone she loves versus someone she only knew casually?
Absolutely. It's hard to turn off natural emotions about someone you love.

Do you have any regrets about it?
No regrets. I'm pretty sure I'd never do it again. I'm definitely not as confident as I used to be, and, honestly, I’m not sure I would have ever done it without that liquid courage!

Why are you less confident now?
I’m less confident in my body. I weigh more now that I've had kids. And I'm less sexually experimental. My sex life now is pretty vanilla.

Do you think people who know you now as a wife and mom would be surprised that your sexual past wasn't so vanilla?
My friends who knew me prior to marriage wouldn't be, and I don't think my new friends would be all that shocked though. I think threesomes happen more in your 20s than any other age demographic though.

Do you think your past experiences will shape how you talk to your kids about sex?
Ugh! I don't even want to think about that yet! I mean, I highly doubt I would tell them details about my sexual past, so I don't think it would change the initial conversation I would have with them about sex.

 

What do you think about Leslie’s story? Have you had a threesome? Would you?

 

Image via © ilbusca/iStock

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