Men Confess What Really Drove Them to Cheat on Their Spouses

Wendy Robinson | May 26, 2015 Love & Sex
Men Confess What Really Drove Them to Cheat on Their Spouses

Whether it was an office fling or an online hookup, research says approximately 20-25 percent of men engage in extramarital sex at least once during their marriage (and those are probably the few they can get to admit it!). For wives who find out that their man has strayed, the need to ask "why?" is one of the top questions on their minds. And while every situation is different, who better to shed light on why men cheat than cheaters themselves?

More from CafeMom: 10 Women Share the Crazy Ways They Caught Him Cheating

We asked a group of men to confess the dirty details of the who, what, when, where, and whys of their cheating. And no matter what their reasoning, a lot of their answers were pretty unsatisfying. The honest truth is that cheating sometimes happens when the opportunity arises. Though as one can see, some of these men are just born without the monogamy gene. From emotional cheating to feeling like their relationship had evolved into friendly roommates, there are many varied reasons why these guys said yes when presented with the opportunity to cheat. 

Click on hear from 11 men who cheated -- and asked that their names not be used -- including those who are filled with regret and those who are unashamed to say that they will probably cheat again.

And let us know -- are any of these justifications for cheating surprising?

  • "I Didn't Think I Would Get Caught"

    1

    "I was at a conference for work and met a woman who worked for a rival company. We hit it off and ended up getting drunk in the hotel bar. I hadn't ever cheated before, but it seemed like the perfect low-risk scenario as she was also married and lived in another state. Neither of us wanted anything serious. It is kind of a cliche, but I think we both just wanted something different than the usual.

    We hooked up in my room that night and I've never told me wife. I used a condom, so I don't think there is any risk and I doubt she'll ever find out."

  • "We Were Already in Trouble"

    2

    "My wife, well, ex-wife, and I just got married too young. We were kind of on the edge in terms of staying together and then I started chatting online with my high school girlfriend. Realizing that I wanted to have sex with her more than I wanted to have sex with my wife made me realize we were over."

  • "I Wasn't Looking for It"

    3

    "I feel like a creep for this, but the only time I've ever cheated was when I got a blow job from a stripper at a bachelor's party. I don't know if it makes it better if I mention that it wasn't my bachelor party?

    I had no intention of cheating when I went to my cousin's bachelor party, but they hired this group of girls to dance and put on a live show. There was a lot of drinking and I eventually found myself in alone in the bathroom with this one girl and she offered it. I should have said 'no' but it is hard to turn it down when it is offered.

    I live in fear of my wife finding out. I don't even know the dancer's name."

  • "I Don't Believe in Monogamy"

    4

    "Here is the thing: If there is ANYONE I'd stay faithful to, it would be my wife. I love her like crazy and she is hot! But I just don't think people are meant to be monogamous. I'd love to have an open marriage, but my wife doesn't believe in that (yet), so I guess I'm technically cheating. I wish I could be honest and keep her, but I can't, so I keep it on the DL."

    More From The Stir: 8 Scientifically Proven Tips for a Better Love Life 

  • "I Didn't Think It Was Really Cheating"

    5

    "It has taken me a long time to think of myself as a 'cheater,' to be honest. When my wife confronted me about my relationship with 'Sarah' from my work, I denied that I was cheating because we'd never been physical. But my wife and I ended up going to counseling, and I came to realize that I was in an emotional affair. I was telling Sarah things I shouldn't be sharing, and I was spending too much time flirting and hanging out with her.

    We stuck it out in counseling and I'm glad we did. We're better off now than we were before."

  • "I'm a Sex Addict"

    6

    "I cheated because I couldn't NOT cheat. I'm in a 12-step program now because I've realized that I have an addiction to sex. I wish I had figured it out before I destroyed my marriage and gave my wife an STI. I have a lot of guilt about it now."

  • "We Were Living Like Roommates"

    7

    "After 15 years of being together, my wife and I are and were best friends. We've got the family stuff locked down -- we're both really involved in our kids' activities and are a good team. It had been probably five months since we'd had sex when I, in a moment of weakness, went onto a website for finding people to hook up with.

    I ended up having sex a few times with a woman who was also married. The thrill of something new was better than the sex itself, but I didn't feel great about myself after that.

    My wife doesn't know, and I'm not going to tell her. I like our life together and I'm hoping that we'll be more romantic again as the kids get older."

    More From The Stir: Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Marriage? 

  • "Because I Can"

    8

    "I travel a lot for work and I don't think what happens in other states should count against me. I provide a nice life for my wife and the kids, and I think even if she knew, she'd look the other way."

  • "I'm Gay"

    9

    "My ex-wife is still my best friend even though I know it killed her to find out that I was gay and had been cheating with men. I didn't want to be gay, and I really loved my wife so I was hoping getting married would 'fix' my life-long attraction to men.

    I just think you can't hide who you are forever, even from yourself. It has to come out somehow."

  • "She Was Ignoring Me"

    10

    "We accidentally got pregnant right after we were married and she had a rough pregnancy and delivery. When I met 'Mandy' on my ultimate Frisbee team, it had been over a year since my wife and I had been naked together. I felt like I was the third wheel between her and the baby. I was feeling ignored and I think that is why I started falling for Mandy.

    Right now I'm still married and I'm still friends with benefits with Mandy. I don't know what the long-term plan is now. It isn't as much fun as people might think being a 'cheater' would be."

    More From The Stir: Women Reveal the Grossest Habits of Their Spouses (PHOTOS) 

  • "Because I Was Stupid"

    11

    "There is no good reason for why I cheated. I just did, and I got caught and it was not worth it.

    I almost lost my wife and my family, and it took YEARS to build back the trust from my wife. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self not to be so stupid."

    Have you ever cheated?

breakups cheating commitment divorce marriage lying

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