Women Confess What Really Drove Them to Cheat on Their Spouses

Maressa Brown | May 12, 2015 Love & Sex

woman texting behind her husband's backMaybe she was trying to fill a void in her relationship. Or seeking revenge on a philandering husband. Those are just two of the most oft-cited reasons a woman in a committed relationship may end up doing something as controversial as it is common: getting involved emotionally and/or physically with someone other than your spouse.

Here, 8 women reveal how they were tempted to cheat, why they gave in, and the aftermath of their affair.

Have you ever been tempted to cheat? What happened?


Image via iStock.com/Izabela Habur

  • "I had an affair with a friend of my brother's."

    1

    "After suffering years of abuse from my ex-husband, I find out he was cheating on me for 6 of the 10 years we were together. I was attracted and finally had an affair with a friend of my brother's. I ended up getting pregnant. My husband kicked me out, I got my own place, and continued my affair. ... The guy became my fiance. The sad part is he was an alcoholic and abusive when he drank too much. I finally kicked him out of my house."

  • "It started as an emotional affair ..."

    2

    "Yes, I thought about it. I did it. It started as an emotional affair and ended as a physical affair. It lasted about 2-3 months. This was about 3 years ago. I haven't nor will I ever tell my husband."

  • "We went through a very stressful phase where we were overwhelmed ..."

    3

    "We went through a very stressful phase where we were overwhelmed with the responsibilities that came with having children back-to-back. Instead of helping me cope (both physically and emotionally), he instead chose to ignore my needs and retreat into his own little world. After several years of feeling neglected, I turned to a coworker for companionship, and it snowballed from there. I was fully intent on leaving my husband, but when he found out about the affair, he made an abrupt change in his behavior and put every effort into salvaging and repairing our relationship. This led to a happy reconciliation, and I don't regret a thing. The only thing that bothers me about the whole situation is that it took something so drastic to get him to wake up and engage in his marriage."

  • "I love my husband, but he doesn't please me sexually like I need..."

    4

    "[I was tempted] and actually did it a week ago. I don't have a guilty conscience either. I love my husband, but he doesn't please me sexually like I need. We've talked about it plenty of times, and he still hasn't listened in the past five years, so I went outside of my marriage for what I needed. The guy I slept with used to be my 'friend with benefits' before I met my husband. We reconnected a few months back. What we have is purely sexual, always has been. I'm not sure if I'll do it again."

    More from The Stir: 15 Real Reasons Women Gave for Cheating on Their Husbands

  • "I wasn't getting what I needed physically or emotionally..."

    5

    "I wasn't getting what I needed physically or emotionally and talking to my husband only ended with him pissed and me crying. Then, 10 minutes later he'd act like everything was fine. This routine went on for years. Eventually, I just shut off emotionally. Then, I found someone willing to fulfill what I needed sexually. My husband found out and the other relationship ended. But the marriage hasn't changed."

  • "... once. I felt terrible after."

    6

    "I [cheated] once. I felt terrible after. We have worked past it. Other than some residual trust issues, which I totally understand, we are doing well. I've cut ties with the guy, and we are stronger for having worked through it."

  • "My husband at the time and I hadn't had sex in over a year."

    7

    "I cheated. I am not proud of it. It was towards the end of my marriage. My husband at the time and I hadn't had sex in over a year. I would never do it again. I felt guilty even though my marriage was over. My marriage ended, because he became physically abusive towards me. We were married 18 years."

  • "I did cheat when we were younger."

    8

    "I did cheat when we were younger. He found out, we worked through it, got married a couple years later."

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