Colin Farrell Love Life Hiatus Is Admirable, But It’s Not for Everyone

colin farrellWell here's something you don't hear every day from a man. Actor Colin Farrell says he's not dating these days -- because of his kids. "I have not dated for, ooh, four years now. It's just not happening, what with the work, the kids and my life," he told the U.K.'s Sunday Times. "I know it's not what people expect to hear, but that's the honest truth." 

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Farrell has two sons, ages 8 and 11, and being their father has changed his perspective on life. "It's not all about you anymore, which is a relief," he says. "It's about a bigger world, and helping them find their place in it." Wow, that's so admirable, recognizing his priorities like that. And I can imagine with a career that takes him away from home a lot, he would have to work harder to connect with his kids.

In fact, this all makes him a little more attractive, don't you think? Because he's such a great dad, and because he's so much more unavailable...

All joking aside, that's a sacrifice a lot of single parents make: No love life because their main priority is their kids. Considering the hard time married people have feeding their relationships while juggling their careers and parenting you really can't blame people like Farrell for giving up on romance. 

But sometimes you meet single parents who have gone for years and years without dating, who are still saying they can't afford a love life because their kids need them, and you have to wonder. How much of this is about the kids -- and how much is it about your fear?

Dating is all about taking risks. You risk feeling vulnerable, you risk rejection, you risk falling in love and getting swept off your feet. ?And there are no guarantees. A child will love you unconditionally. A boyfriend or girlfriend? That's something else.

Not to mention, dating takes exertion. You have to spruce yourself up and then go out. If you stay home with the kids in your flannel pajamas weekend after weekend you never have to wax anything or make awkward conversation with a stranger. 

I'm not saying Farrell is wrong for putting off his love life for now. I don't know him or his situation well enough to judge, obviously. I'm just saying, I think it's healthy for single parents to make room in their lives for romantic relationships. You are a human being with basic needs. And while it may feel right to put certain parts of your life on hold temporarily, we just need to be honest with ourselves about what our motivations are, and whether or not we're actually using our kids to stunt our growth.

Someday those kids will be grown and out of the house. Will you be too shy and set in your ways to date again by then?

Do you have single moms friends who don't date because of their kids?

 

Image via Frazer Hamilton/Getty Images Entertainment

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