The Best Cure for a Broken Heart Is ... Stuff!

broken hearted womanDo you know someone who just went through an awful breakup and needs some cheering? Well, in addition to sitting with her through a marathon wine-fueled binge-watch of Ryan Gosling movies you could send her this: A Bounce Back Box.


This is a gift box created by Never Liked It Anyway, a website that lets you sell the detritus of your ruined relationship online. Goodbye, engagement ring!

So what's inside the box? They're kind of keeping it a surprise, but they will say it involves "some of the hottest brands to help you get back to fabulous." A few hints: Elizabeth Mott mascara, Buxom lip gloss, Kitsch hair ties, Babeland vibrators, and dating passes from (I hope there's chocolate in there, too.)

Now imagine dragging your brokenhearted self off the sofa, shuffling to the door, and accepting this package. You don't even bother wiping the tears and smeared mascara off your face when you answer the door. What could it be? You open it up and -- awww! 

So that jerk doesn't love you anymore. You've got something better! A true friend. You collapse in the hallway right there, bawling into your box of vibrators and lip gloss, heaving "so ... blessed ... " between sobs.

More from The Stir: 21 Ways to Get Over a Bad Breakup

I think those of us who've survived a terrible breakup (that's all of us, right?) know that the best thing is some bonding time with your sisters in arms. But sometimes that's not possible because you live far away from each other. This would be the next best thing. Hell, give your friend this Bounce Back Box even if you're hanging out with her every single night because stuff makes people happy. I don't care what anyone else says.

What helped you most during your last breakup?


Image via Anatoly Tiplyashin/Shutterstock

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