What Kelly Clarkson Says She'll 'Never' Do in Her Marriage Will Make You Laugh

kelly clarkson in times square 2015Around the time you say "I do," you vow to do a LOT more than to stick by your spouse's side in sickness and in health. These big, inflated promises may range from "I'll NEVER wear frumpy pajamas to bed" to "I'll ALWAYS make you breakfast in bed on Sundays." Or, in Kelly Clarkson's case, as she says in Redbook's May issue, "I always swore ours would not be a relationship where we have to schedule sex. That is never going to happen.”


Wow. If the expression "never say 'never'" ever applied, it's when you're talking about marriage! How can you say "never" when you have approximately 50+ years left to spend with your significant other? Ha!

Kelly claims that she and husband Brandon Blackstock will "never" have to add sex to their to-do list, because they value their relationship before anything else and have what she refers to as an "oxygen-mask mentality -- take care of yourself first!"

That's extremely admirable, but it's also a bit naive. Oh, sure, 10-month-old River Rose may be adorbs and lower-maintenance in all of her baby glory right now, but I would bet there will come a day when their little girl is going to be a very needy toddler, kid, tween, teen. There will be times when Kelly's on the road touring or in the studio recording, and with work, parenting, and all of the other demands of life in between on their plates, they're gonna find spontaneity has to take a backseat to simply making intimacy happen however it can.

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Truly putting on that "oxygen-mask" means doing whatever you have to do to keep your relationship afloat when life makes for choppy waters. (And if we're talking absolutes, there's one for sure: Life gets rough at times, whether you're a rich and famous pop star or not.) For many couples, having as Kelly puts it "a relationship where you have to schedule sex" may not mean your marriage is on the rocks, your sex life has gone bust, or you've given up on connecting with your spouse physically. It may just mean you're ... busy. And it's not at all something to be ashamed of.

In fact, I'd argue that if you're making a point to put sexytime with your partner on your calendar, you're obviously invested in your marriage. You're making an effort, doing the work that's integral to keeping your connection strong. Wishing and hoping isn't gonna cut it; you're actually doing something to make sure you DO IT. That's something to be proud of as a spouse.

We've heard a lot lately about how "marriage doesn't work anymore," which is a totally ridiculous generalization for many reasons, but in the cases where they do fail, perhaps it's because spouses think their relationship should be above putting "work" IN. They're more concerned about childish, black and white rules that simply don't hold up when you're committed to sticking it out with another person through thick and thin.

While I've only been married for two years (only about five months ahead of Kelly and Brandon), if I've learned anything from loved ones' 30-, 40-, 50-year-long marriages, it's that you can "always" love your spouse, and you can "never" give up. But that's roughly where the absolutes end. Handling everything else in between is about staying flexible and open to whatever curveballs come your way. But you don't have to be married for decades to figure that out! In fact, something tells me sooner rather than later, Kelly will change her tune.

How do you feel about scheduling sex?


Image via Fortunata/Splash News

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