Marriage Just Doesn't Work Anymore So We Should All Stop Trying

millennial couple social media

Terrible news everybody: According to a 29-year-old seen-it-all sage, "Marriages today just don't work." I don't know how this explains your marriage, if it does happen to be working at the moment. Maybe you're just fooling yourself? But yeah. News bulletin: Marriage is over. 

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You see, Anthony D'Ambrosio married in his early 20s. When he divorced three years ago, a hardened and embittered old man, he found the dating world a very different place. (SON. Try getting divorced after 16 freakin' years and let's talk about different dating landscape.) There's all this social media. And stuff! Simply put, he says, "Our generation isn't equipped to handle marriages -- and here's why." Readers, here are his five reasons for our massive marriage FAIL. 

1. "Sex becomes almost non-existent."

Oy vey, you were married for a handful of years, no kids, and your sex life died? This reminds me of that time Kim Kardashian's four-month-old kitten died. I mean, what the hell did you do to your sex life? Did you forget to water it or something? You were still in your 20s! And you're baffled?!? I'm utterly flummoxed. 

Come on. Sex does not just "become" non-existent. I think the passive construction there is telling. Your sex life is not going to run on autopilot indefinitely. You have to keep feeding it, and you have to approach it joyfully, as an opportunity to relax and connect with each other. Have to? I mean you get to!

2. "Finances cripple us."

This is the one reason D'Ambrosio gives that doesn't sound like a whiny excuse. Higher education has gotten more expensive in the past 30 years. Housing costs have outpaced wage increases. These pressures can strain even a healthy marriage -- in fact, this is one of the biggest reasons why fewer people are getting married now.

3. "We're more connected than ever before, but completely disconnected at the same time."

It's true, we fritter away too much time on social media, and those connections tend to run shallow. But what does that have to do with your spouse, again? I mean, if you live with that person, you're probably talking to them fairly often because they're right there in the same room with you. Quick raise of hands, how many of you regularly text your spouse while you're lying in bed together? 

"There's no physical connection attached to anything anymore." This is an excellent example of hyperbole. Moving on!

4. "Our desire for attention outweighs our desire to be loved."

What in the hell ... ? Everybody wants to be loved. EVERYBODY. If you're so preoccupied with attention grabbing via social media that it ruins your love life, that's a sign of immaturity and maybe also a personality disorder. But it's not a sign of the demise of a centuries'-old institution.

5. "Social media just invited a few thousand people in bed with you."

In other words, there's no privacy anymore, blah blah blah. Oh please, yes there is. Ask anyone who was alive long before social media (me). Most of us know how to keep private stuff private.

I could go on, but what it all comes down to is something a lot of us already know: You make marriage work. If it fails, it's not because the institution is flawed, nor because social media is killing it. It's always been challenging. For as long as it's been around, marriage has required a lot of support and effort.

People make marriages work every single day -- yes, even people who are active on social media. Don't let anyone tell you it's impossible.

Do you sometimes feel like marriage is harder for this generation than previous generations?

 

Image © Kiselev Andrey Valerevich/Shutterstock

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