56 G-Rated Ways to Say 'Let's Do It' When the Kids Are Around

roll in the hay

For as long as human beings have been having sex, they've been inventing funny ways to describe it. Why? Because sometimes you need to refer to your favorite activity in front of your kids! Here's a hot stack of euphemisms we hope you'll find useful in the near future.


1. Make whoopie

2. Facemaking

3. Horizontal refreshment

4. Oscillate the unmentionables

5. Horizontal hokey pokey

6. Monster mash

7. Do the no-pants dance

8. Thread the needle

9. Test the mattress

10. Mingle limbs

11. Roll in the hay

12. Hot yoga

13. Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo 

14. Butter the biscuit

15. Dissapoint the wife

16. Make the beast with two backs

17. Take a trip to pound town

18. Amorous congress

19. Bake the potato

20. Two-person pushup

21. Check the oil

22. Frolic in the cornfield

23. Knock boots

24. Pogo in the shrub 

25. The old in out, in out

G rated ways to say sex

More from The StirHow to Have a Great Quickie Without the Kids Knowing

26. Spelunk the bat cave

27. Sweep the chimney

28. Shock the monkey

29. Waka-waka

30. Rumpy-pumpy

31. Take Grandma to Applebee's

32. Hit a home run

33. Adult naptime

34. Tactical insertion

35. Carnal embrace

36. Yiff

37. Ride the bony express

38. Assault with a friendly weapon

39. Boink

40. Spear the rabbit

41. Snu-snu

42. Vulcanize the whoopee stick

43. Open the gates of Mordor

44. Tie the true lover's knot

45. Get a bit of the other

46. Pray with knees upwards

47. Roger

48. Make a hole in the welcome mat

49. Box the clown

50. Put email in the spam folder

51. Put ranch in her Hidden Valley

52. Hanky panky

53. Slytherin her Hufflepuff

54. Park the Plymouth in the garage of love

55. Play in the box our kids came in

56. Make love

What's your favorite euphemism for sex?


Image via KonstantinChristian/Shutterstock

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