Bradley Cooper 'Dumps' 23-Year-Old Suki Waterhouse for Acting Like a 23-Year-Old

bradley cooper suki waterhouse

Remember when 40-year-old actor Bradley Cooper and 23-year-old model Suki Waterhouse broke up and we were all, "Duh, he was too old for her!" Well, hold on there bitter feminazis, because a source is spilling on the real reasons Cooper dumped Waterhouse -- yes, he dumped her, lest there be any confusion on the matter.

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The source told the highly reputable Page Six that Waterhouse "wasn't supportive of his career." In particular, she was so NOT into his super-serious performance in the Elephant Man through its run on Broadway this winter. ("He is the elephant in the room," says Ben Brantley of the New York Times.)

And another thing! Waterhouse "spent Valentine's Day away from him." Perhaps you saw her Instagram photos, showing her frolicking with her friends (like any normal 23-year-old would) at some billionaire's estate in Austin, Texas -- and can you blame her? It was colder than hell in New York in mid-February. (I wouldn't know. My age-appropriate boyfriend took me to the Taj Mahal on Valentine's this year -- maybe you should try that next time, Mr. Cooper?)

Happy Valentine's whatever!

â�¤ï¸ï¿½happy Valentine's!

A photo posted by sukiwaterhouse (@sukiwaterhouse) on

Wheee!!!

Lake Austin

A video posted by sukiwaterhouse (@sukiwaterhouse) on

 Thinking of you, babes! (Not very much at alllllllolololololol.)

More from The Stir: Bradley Cooper Wouldn't Date Jennifer Lawrence Because of Her Age

Now where were we? OH YES. Bradley Cooper dumped this chick because obviously, do you not see what a bad girlfriend she's been to her old man? Did I just say that? I mean, her People magazine-designated Sexiest Man. Dammit, is it too much to ask that an Oscar-nominated Hot Actor™ enjoy a decent public relationship with a much-younger model? Is that really so much to ask for? I thought this was America!

In conclusion, HE dumped HER. Contrary to all appearances. The end.

Did you call this one, like, way back in March of 2014 or what?

 

Image via Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images

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