10 Things Your Vibrator Does That Your Man Can't

woman surprised bed

The secret is out: Men are desperately threatened by their women's vibrators. In fact, many fear they could actually be replaced by your favorite "rabbit" or "bullet." And if you haven't already heard this from your guy, it's only because he's hiding the truth from you.


After all, what kind of man feels intimidated by a silly little silicone-coated wand? Just because it's (sometimes) longer and wider than he is, and delivers a buzz that seems to send us to another planet in about two minutes flat? What's the big deal?

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Men have it over vibrators in so many ways. We can't cuddle with a vibrator, a vibrator can't say "I love you" (yet, but what a great idea), and a vibrator can't take out the garbage. You cannot conceive a child with your vibrator. Also ... hold on, I'm thinking. There must be more?

marilyn monroe thinking

Well anyway. Since this seems to be such a big deal I guess we need to go there. What, exactly, does a vibrator do that most men don't/won't/can't?

1. They go exactly where we want them to go.

2. They get the pressure and vibration exactly right.

3. They're easier to control.

4. There's no talking involved.

5. They're always ready when you are, 24/7.

6. They don't have to "wait an hour or two" because they just "ate a big dinner."

7. They can be surprisingly quiet.

8. They're utterly selfless, there for your gratification alone.

9. They don't care what you look like, or how squishy your post-baby body has gotten.

10. They deliver the goods. Every. Single. Time.

Guys, you can beat this thing. It's not a big deal! You just have to stop thinking with your Johnson and be a little more creative. And willing. And persistent. Let Salt 'N' Pepa break it down for you.

Seriously, though, it's a good thing we women don't have to choose between one or the other. Here's to enjoying the best of both.

Which do you prefer in bed, your husband or your vibrator? Honestly, we won't tell him.


Image © Yuliya Yafimik/Shutterstock

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