Sexting 101: A Few Hot Tips for Beginners

According to a recent study, nearly 50 percent of adults have sent a racy photo, text message, or email from their phone. While that number may strike some people as surprisingly high, I’m more surprised that there are 50 percent of adults missing out on this easy and fun way to add a little flirtation back into their lives.


Sending the one you love (or lust after) some spicy thoughts has a long history. Even impossibly boring-seeming former President Warren G. Harding got in on the action, sending his mistress letters that include  sentiments like, “I hurt with the insatiate longing, until I feel that there will never be any relief until I take a long, deep, wild draught on your lips”

Is getting hot in here or is that you, Mr. President?

If you would like to get your partner all hot and bothered but aren’t sure where to start, never fear! Below are some easy ways for the shy to start sexting. Think of it as sexy Mad Libs:

1. Begin with a simple, but sweet, greeting: “I miss you” or “I’ve been thinking about you” should get you off to the right start.

2. Start slowly ramping up the sexy by referencing the last time you got frisky: “I was thinking about last night/last Tuesday/last month when we (insert whatever word for sex you like best). It felt great to be so close to you.”

3. Turn it up a notch and boost his ego at the same time by telling him what exactly you like best about his body and/or his technique: “I love thinking about your (body part) and it turns me on when you (action) my (body part).

More from The Stir: Say It With Me, Ladies -- 'I Deserve an Orgasm!'

At this point, assuming your partner has their phone with them, you’ll probably be on the receiving end of some very enthusiastic texts in return. Now is the time to decide if you want to keep turning up the heat via text or if you want to leave some mystery and promise a hookup soon.

If you’ve reached your comfort limit, end on an, “I can’t wait to see you when I/you get home!” note and be prepared for an ambush as soon as the kids are in bed. If you want to really spice it up, keep going with the next few ideas.

sexting for beginners 101

4. Suggest a very specific course of action for your next sexy times: “Tonight, I want you to (action) me in the (location) while I’m (fill in the blank).

5. Make some sexy promises of your own: “I can’t wait to (action)…”

6. If a picture is worth a thousand words, let your final text be a chatty one by sending him a sexy shot. You don’t have to be naked or even identifiable. A cleavage picture or a photo of your (clothed) legs with the caption “Wish you were here” can have some mighty fine results.

Um, hypothetically.



(A photo like that sent to my husband while traveling may or may not be responsible for the existence of my 2-year-old.)

Ultimately what makes a sext, well, sexy, isn’t how graphic or descriptive you are. It is that you are letting your partner know that they are wanted and desired. Who doesn’t like that?

Are you pro grown-up sexting?


Images © and © Dean Drobot/Shutterstock

Read More >