My Husband Does Not Prefer Blondes -- But I Highlight My Hair Anyway

woman showing off dress bored husband shopping

The first time my mom dyed her almost-black hair a caramel blonde (to experiment, in part, but it was also her stealthy way of better hiding the grays), she said, "Hey, you know, men like blondes better anyway!" She'd nudge my dad, and he'd groan. She also stuck to her guns when it came to long vs. short hair. Gentlemen don't only prefer blonde; they'd rather you wear those locks long, too.


Your husband may be unique in certain ways, he's still A Man, so stick to long and blonde, if you know what's best for ya! But what if it's not what he likes? What if it's what I like? 

My husband has a thing for brunettes like Salma Hayek, Mila Kunis, or Sofia Vergara. And when we first met, my hair was brown. No, not just brown. DARK brown. But in the eight years since, it's been a bevy of hues.

Not wild ones -- at all. (You'll never see me with green or purple or pink tresses. It's not "me.") I like to play with going blonder -- think highlights, lighter brown, ombre, sombre (softer ombre). None of that is really my husband's cup of tea. It's not that he loathes the blonde -- he prefers it brown.

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Knowing this, his mom has even said to me on various occasions, "Oh, you know he likes it darker. Just the way you naturally are!"

And he's vocalized it himself, of course. I'll never forget how when walking out of our old apartment building one day, my husband -- totally out of the blue, unprompted -- asked if I was wearing makeup. "Nope," I replied. "Well, I like this way best," he said. So, clearly not a fan of faux lashes, bronzer, or red lips, then? Okay.

When I've attempted to rock statement, bib-style necklaces or noticeably bold earrings, he says, "Those are big." When I've worn a bit of shimmer powder: "There's glitter on your face." (Yes, I know, honey.)

To all of this, I'll typically reply with something along the lines of "Thanks, that means a lot, but this hair color/that bright lipgloss/the time spent experimenting with my smoky cat eye makes me happy."

It's not an attempt to mask who I really am. It's not that I'm not embracing my natural beauty. It's a form of self-expression, and a way for me to enhance my features, which, yes, definitely offers a self-esteem boost. But it's not like I need it for that purpose; it's just the icing.

Don't get me wrong. I frequently opt for looks he likes -- a sleek, straight, soft hairstyle over wild, beachy waves, or smaller, stud earrings over glitzy chandeliers. Because of course I want to be attractive to my husband. Of course I want to make him happy!

At the same time, I'm sure he puts on button-down shirts and darker wash dress jeans in great part for my benefit. His everyday "uniform," as I'll teasingly call it, of a grey t-shirt and hoodie isn't really my first choice. But that's okay; it's his.

Likewise, more often than not, I'm going to choose the styles I love. Because that's what will make me feel pretty and confident. Who wouldn't want their wife to feel that way? I know that's what my husband ultimately wants for me -- far more than he may want me to dye my hair dark or 86 that smoky black eyeliner.

How do you feel about appealing to your husband's tastes? Does your style reflect what you like, he likes, or both?

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