15 Top Sex Dreams & What They Really Mean

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Have you ever found yourself lost in a moment of passion with a stranger, entangled in a threesome, or engaged in hot sex with your boss -- in your dreams? If so, you are not alone. Dream expert Lauri Quinn Loewenberg, author of Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life, says those scenarios are among the most common erotic dreams. 

A recent study released by the University of Montreal found that sex dreams make up about eight percent of all dreams for both men and women. However, for women, sexy dreaming is more likely to coincide with certain flux in hormones, according to Loewenberg.

“In my research, I have found that sexual content in women's dreams rises during ovulation,” she says. And hormones can also take the rap for some of the juicy, vivid sex dreams many pregnant women report.   

“The culprit is likely the increase in progesterone, which can make many women feel more ‘randy’ than normal,” she says. “In addition, it increases the amount of time spent in REM (dream) sleep, which provides the delightful combination of vivid sex dreams!”

Interestingly, and perhaps not surprisingly, eroticism in the REM state is not always about sex.

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, as they say,” Loewenberg points out. “If you find someone attractive and then have a sexual dream about them, it is a safe and private way to explore that possibility in your head.”

“But typically, sexual content in a dream is more often about a psychological union you need rather than a physical union you want, which is why we sometimes have naughty dreams about someone we would not even touch with a ten foot pole,” she says. “It's not so much about desiring the person in the dream but more about desiring or needing some quality they possess. Sex is the ultimate union between two individuals so the dreaming mind will use that union to symbolize a union or merging of qualities or behaviors into our own psyche.”

We asked Loewenberg to help enlighten us about the meaning of 15 top sex dreams.

Have you had any interesting sex dreams recently?

sex dreams meanings

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  • Dreams About a Mystery Man

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    How popular is a sex dream about a mystery man and what exactly does it mean? Is it foretelling a future dalliance?

    The mystery man dream is the most common of all sex dreams for women. It's rarely about a soul mate that might be out there somewhere waiting to meet us. Our dreams have a cool way of showing us the different parts of our personality in the form of a person so we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and what makes us tick. That being said, the mystery man is the embodiment, the personification of the qualities we tend to associate with the male gender: assertiveness, speaking your mind, bringing home the bacon, etc. Whenever a woman needs to assert herself or take charge in some form or fashion -- such as when she is up for a promotion, when she is a single parent and has to play the role of both, or when she needs to speak up for herself during the day -- these are the times when the mystery lover will pay her a visit at night.

    More From The Stir: 50 Things You Can Try Tonight to Have the Hottest Sex 

  • Dreams About an Ex

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    What if an ex-lover or ex-spouse shows up in a dream? Is this a wish for a reunion or just a moment of reconnecting with the past?

    The ex we dream about the most is our first love. It can be decades since he was in your life but yet you still may find yourself having naughty dreams about him or trying to rekindle the romance. All these years later, he is no longer playing himself but rather symbolizes the excitement, passion, and the feelings of being desired that first love brings. He usually shows up in our dreams when we are in a dry spell or your current relationship has become a bit too routine. He serves as a reminder that you need to spice up your romantic life so you can feel young and alive again.

    Dreaming of an ex that broke your heart or that treated you badly can be a sign that you are stuck emotionally and have not allowed yourself to move on. These dreams are a clear indication that you have not healed in which case the dreams will continue until you let go and leave the past in the past. It is impossible to move forward while you are still holding on to what is behind you.

  • Dreams About Cheating

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    If a woman dreams about cheating on her mate, is it a sign she is restless in the marriage or does it represent something else? And should she felt guilty about it?

    It can be. If you know you are unhappy in the marriage and are getting these dreams, it is a push from your subconscious to correct the situation in a healthy manner. But if these dreams seem to be coming out of nowhere then ask yourself what is the third wheel in your relationship? It's not likely another man but rather another thing you are giving your time and attention to that, deep down, you know is taking away from your time and attention with your mate. Is it a new baby that's taking all your affection and energy? Is it your job? Whatever it is, your dream is showing you that you are cheating your mate out of the time he wants with you. 

  • Dreams About Sex With a Celebrity

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    Many women dream about sex with a particular celebrity. Some think it means they are meant to meet that person? What do you think celebrity sex dreams represent? 

    If you have the hots for a certain celebrity and then have a sexual dream about him, it is merely the way your subconscious is safely exploring the fantasy. But more often than not, the celebrity you dream about symbolizes something important to you ... no matter how random the celebrity may seem. The trick to figure it out is to ask yourself what about this celebrity stands out to you? Is it a movie he was in? A character he played? A song he sings? What? You will find something relevant to your life in the movie, the character, title of the song or the lyrics. For example, one of my clients had been having naughty dreams about Lenny Kravitz. She was pretty indifferent to him so she wasn't sure why. I asked her what first came to mind when she thought of him. She replied, The Hunger Games movies. Turns out, she had started a strict diet and was trying to get used to the hunger she was feeling. There is always a connection!

  • Dreams About Sex With a Co-Worker

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    Is there a special meaning in a dream of sex with a co-worker?

    Remember, sex dreams are most often about uniting the qualities or behaviors of others into your own self in order to improve yourself. With the co-worker, there may be a quality of theirs that you need. Perhaps they have a way of not getting their feathers ruffled and can stay calm and collected during the most stressful times. Or maybe the boss really likes them. What stands out about them to you? That is likely the quality you need to incorporate into your own self. Sometimes sex with a co-worker can mean you need to have a meeting of the minds with them for the sake of work.

  • Dreams About Sex With Your Boss

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    What about dreaming of sex with the boss? Is it a need to connect intimately with authority?

    In most cases, yes, it is about taking on a more authoritative role in your own life, taking charge. Depending on the circumstances, it could also mean you need to unite with your boss psychologically in some way perhaps in a project for work or perhaps to simply better understand where he or she is coming from. It's ultimately all for your own benefit.

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  • Dreams About Sex With a Woman

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    You mention girl-on-girl sex is a popular dream. What does it mean for most women?

    If you have a lesbian dream and you are straight as an arrow, no need to question your sexuality. First take a look at who your lover is in the dream. If it is someone you know or know of, use that same rule of thumb and ask yourself what stands out about that person to you. There is likely a quality or behavior you need to or are actively incorporating into yourself. If it's an unknown female, then it is more about the qualities of the gender. For example, lesbian dreams are extremely common during pregnancy because there is nothing more feminine than carrying life and giving birth. But it could also mean you are becoming a more nurturing and caring person, more creative or more sensitive, or you are just very proud of your feminine wiles.

  • Dreams About a Threesome

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    Women often dream of a threesome. Is one