The 16 Worst Valentine's Day Cards You Could Ever Send (PHOTOS)

Adriana Velez | Feb 4, 2015 Love & Sex

angry valentine heartHad enough with the sweet, sentimental Valentine's Day cards? Well then, come take a gander at some of the weirdest, most awkward, WRONGEST, most hilariously inappropriate Valentine's Day cards we've ever seen.

Would you ever dare to send any of these cards? Which is your favorite?


Image via patronestaff/Shutterstock

  • For the Prince You Held Out For


    Image via RooandBear/Etsy

    They said your standards were too high. They said you were too picky. But you proved them wrong! At last, you found a man who puts the toilet seat down.

  • For the Man Who Knows What You Want


    Image via RowHouse14/Etsy

    He forgot your chocolate again. No problem. You've got his reminder right here.

  • For the Man You're Not That Into


    Image via sherripics/Instagram

    Awkward conversation hearts, for the man with whom you have absolutely zero chemistry.

  • For the Straightforward Type


    Image via JulieAnnArt/Etsy

    Save the sentimental mushy stuff for the children. You're a grown woman and you know what you like.

  • For the Guy With a Sick Sense of Humor


    Image via sschmidtvfx/Instagram

    Er, let's hope that's all they (plural!) tested positive for!

  • For the Guy You Settled For


    Image via DarwinDesignsCards/Etsy

    Deep sigh of resignation. Tired of looking? Just pick someone, anyone at all. It doesn't even matter anymore.

  • For Henry the VIII


    Image via orgnlredling/Instagram

    Remember when he kept beheading his wives? Haha, that guy. He's too much!

  • For Your Christian Grey


    Image via GeorgiePearlDesigns/Etsy

    Are you sick of Fifty Shades yet? Too bad! Valentine's 2015 is all about the BDSM you're never actually getting around to trying in real life.

  • For the Guy Who Likes Cheap Metaphors


    Image via monkeyventurian/Instagram

    Yup, there's nothing more romantic than an empty soda bottle -- except maybe a tired metaphor involving an empty soda bottle.

  • For the Gal Who Appreciates Bad Puns


    Image via KnottyCards/Etsy

    Get it? Hard time? HARD??? To be delivered with a very Bevis and Butt-head laugh: Heh heh, heh heh heh, heh heh.

  • For Your Favorite Fascist


    Image via michelletazelaar/Instagram

    Even Nazis need love! Actually, they don't. But Adlof does have a smoldering stare, doesn't he?

  • For the Guy Who Has a Dog


    Image via LIKKS/Etsy

    Eww. Just ... ew.

  • For the Man Who Knows What He's Got Coming to Him


    Image via MissTanDesigns/Etsy

    I mean, that's what this holiday is all about -- for guys. Right?

  • For the Girl Who Has a Certain Effect on Her Man


    Image via Abeebeey/Instagram

    This card is almost too romantic for me. You know? And so straightforward, too. Wow.

  • For the 'What Are We?' Limbo Couple


    Image via emilymcdowelldraws/Etsy

    What do you give the guy you started dating right before Valentine's Day? It's not like you're a real couple yet. But you also don't want him to feel like you don't care, or you don't see him that way. You can't pretend Valentine's isn't happening. So awkward!

  • For the Mixed-Up Lover


    Image via alderaansurvivor/Instagram

    Okay, technically this isn't a "card" -- but it's so funny we had to include it anyway. Someone really tried, here!

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