10 Questions to Make You Fall in Love With Your Husband All Over Again

couple laughing together

Have you heard about the experiment that gets a couple to fall in love after answering 36 special "closeness" questions and staring into each other's eyes for four solid minutes? As much as we love the idea, we have to wonder if there's another set of questions that could make a long-married couple fall in love -- again!


10 questions to ask your husband

Well, there might be. Famed marriage researcher and counselor John Gottman came up with seven basic principles for making love last for long-term couples. The first principle? "Enhance your love maps." That's where you store all of the most important details of your spouse's inner life -- their hopes, their fears, their passions, their most meaningful memories, their history.

And how do you enhance your love map? By asking questions -- questions that sound a lot like those 36 questions designed to make couples fall in love. The Gottman Institute has created dozens of "love map" questions (there's even a Love Map app!). But those are questions you try to answer about your spouse to see how well you know each other.

What if we came up with a new set of questions about things that are important to each of you, but that you might not know the answer to? Here's a few.

1. What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud, for real? What made it so funny?

2. What's an outfit you love seeing me wear? (Besides "nothing.")

3. What are three things you feel grateful for right now?

4. Think of the last romantic comedy we saw together. What did it make you think about?

5. If you had to start your career all over again, and money was no object, what would you choose?

6. Who is the last person who inspired you? Why did they inspire you?

7. If we lost all our possessions in a natural disaster, what would you miss the most?

8. If we got married again today, what song would you pick for our first dance?

9. What's a nightmare you keep having over and over again? What do you think it means?

10. What's a recent date or activity we did together that made you feel especially close to me?

How do you think answering these questions would make you and your husband feel? Do you predict you'll be surprised by any of each other's answers?


Image via Maxwell Monty/Shutterstock

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