Should Husbands Be Allowed to Opt Out of Childbirth Because It's Not 'Sexy'?

couple holding handsWhen talking to men about what turns them on sexually, seeing their wife giving birth isn't found on the top of anyone's list. Which is for the best. But some take things to an extreme. Writer and mom Rachel Rounds says one of the secrets to her happy sex life with her husband Tom is the fact that he didn't attend the birth of their child. He couldn't. He wouldn't even though Rachel wanted him. Then he helped her understand that he didn't like the sight of blood and he thought he would never want to have sex with her again after. While this admission would make some question their marriage, Rachel understood her man. No one should get married in the first place unless you know what type of guy you're marrying.


Rachel married "the guy who doesn't want to be with you at the birth of your child." He is most likely the guy who doesn't want to know that you burp or fart. He probably has convinced himself that you never poop. He isn't the guy getting you extra toilet paper when you've run out in the loo because he cannot handle the sight of you sitting on the toilet. He is the guy voted "least likely to buy his lady tampons." He is the dad who says, "Go ask mom to help" when the kid you created together comes in from playing outside with a scraped knee.  

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We need to know what kind of man we are marrying or procreating with BEFORE we do such things or get ourselves in such situations. Tom might file for divorce if Rachel ever ended up with uncontrollable diarrhea in the car before they reached the rest stop. He may be the type of guy to denounce fatherhood if his kid pukes up formula. Because you know his wife probably isn't breastfeeding because it would make him not able to see "his" breasts as sexual anymore. But Rachel is aware. And if it works for them, then so be it. I personally could never be married to Tom, but I didn't marry Tom -- Rachel did.

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Some men just can't handle some things. And that's fine -- for some women. But it's best as long as we know our likes and dislikes and preferences from the start. Another example: The people who prefer anal sex shouldn't marry the people who are always constipated or would never ever do something like that. Of course, we all do crazy things for love (though not as crazy as sucking it up and attending your own child's birth as in Tom's case). But Tom has a valid point. We have to place importance on keeping the love life alive -- it's one of the keys to a happy marriage, union, pairing, coupling for the ever and evermore. Tom can't witness the birth or his sex life with his wife will be doomed. Tom and Rachel love each other. Rachel understands. That's true love. We all have quirks. Hopefully you know how to get through all the tough stuff together with grace and a healthy sex life (and I hope Rachel is never in a TP bind).

Are there certain things you would never do in front of your husband or things your husband couldn't do for fear it would ruin your sex life?


Image via Katie Tegtmeyer/Flickr

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