Man Writes Long Breakup Text to Girlfriend With Absurd Reasons for Ending It

A man who reportedly text messaged his girlfriend with a list of reasons why he is breaking up with her is being raked over the Internet coals after the girl's best friend, Amy Nelmes, tweeted the man's list to "shame" him. The text message is now being described as the "worst breakup text ever."

Isn't that like a woman? If a guy disappears without a trace and without a word of warning, then we bitch and moan that the guy was rude and insensitive. But if he tells us EXACTLY why he's breaking up with us -- well, then we don't like that either. Seriously, ladies, make up your minds. And I speak as one of you.


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Personally, I don't find the man's list of reasons that bad. Although some of them are a bit over-the-top considering the pair had reportedly only dated for seven weeks, and one is just absurd -- I actually think it's sort of admirable that a guy didn't slink quietly away with his tail between his legs and did actually speak up and give reasons why he's serving this girl her dumping papers.

Here is the list in its entirety:


Now, I actually think some of these are quite legit. She's rude to his cat? That's the one everyone seems to think is so funny, but I don't. Why would you stay with someone who is rude to your pet?

Not updating your relationship status on Facebook could be offensive, depending on how serious their relationship had gotten in seven weeks. I also think it's reasonable to expect to be invited to a wedding with your girlfriend -- especially if the wedding is yours, har!

Where he goes off the rails is when he says he's breaking up with her because she won't disclose the number of her sexual partners, "which makes me think it is upwards of 3 and anything more than that is unacceptable" (good luck, dude!). Also, when he signs off saying that he "can't change" her into the woman he wants her to be, well, that just screams straight-up psycho.

But, hey, at least he said it! He didn't do the nose-dive off the planet. He didn't do the "I have to move back to [name some foreign country] because my great-aunt Matilda is sick," nor did he do the excruciating "slow fade."

This is one dumped woman who will not long for closure -- this text gives her all the closure she could ever need without that teary last meeting. Plus, I bet she is really happy to be rid of him (and his cat).

Do you prefer to know all the reasons someone is breaking up with you?


Image via WoodleyWonderWorks/Flickr

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