The 1 Thing Every Marriage Needs if It's Going to Last

unhappy couple in bedHow many times have we heard the same thing: Your sex life is a crucial part of your marriage. How crucial? Sex expert Tracey Cox says you're actually risking divorce if you're not having sex regularly. "Like it or not, there's a definite link," she says. So it's not just that doin' it enhances your satisfaction with your relationship. Not doin' it puts you on the road to splitsville. Gulp!

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Okay, so how many sexless marriages are there out there, anyway?

According to Cox, at least 10 percent of married couples between 36 and 55 never have sex. Another 11 percent give it a go only once a year -- might as well throw that bunch into the no-sex category as well.

Some 32 percent of couples have sex once a month, so they're busy, but at least they're trying. And 44 percent have sex weekly, which sounds much better.

More from The Stir: Married Couples Reveal How Many Times a Week They Have Sex

Anyway, Cox gives all kinds of reasons why you MUST keep having sex, and it's all stuff you've heard already. It makes you feel more connected as a couple, it makes you feel loved and desired, it's great for your immune system and stress -- I mean, it's kind of like when you hear all the reasons why exercise is good for you. But those reasons don't always motivate people.

Cox also says a sexless marriage is setting you up for infidelity. One of you is bound to cheat if you're not getting it at home. "Stop having sex with each other and you risk both of you wanting to have sex with someone else," she says.

But she also admits that keeping your marriage hot long-term goes against nature. So are we all doomed?

When you think about having sex with the same person, year after year, it can seem daunting. How do you keep it fresh? It's not just the guys who get bored. In fact, some researchers say it's women who crave novelty more than men.

Cox has an answer for that. The key to keeping your sex life alive long-term is to be bad in the bedroom!

The way to keep it going is to have naughty sex. It's great to have loving sex, but you've got to have naughty sex to shock the brain into setting off those sex hormones ... I'm not talking about sex with other people, but just pushing your comfort zone so your brain goes, 'Ooh, I haven't tried this before!'

VARIETY! It's all about variety -- that's how you keep your sex life alive. And lucky for all of us, humans have been at this lovemaking business for so long, there's an endless supply of "naughty" things a couple can do together, if they're willing to take the risk.

Who would have thought the secret to long-term domestic bliss is actually wild adventure? Life is surprising that way.

Do you think a married couple can be happy in a sexless marriage?

 

Image © iStock.com/Ivan Bliznetsov

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