Why I'm Done With Online Dating Websites

Why I'm Done With Online Dating WebsitesSince my separation almost two years ago, I've tried out various online dating websites. Match.com, Tinder, Hot or Not, OKCupid. The list goes on and on.

(Did you know there's one for people who went to Ivy League schools? Farmers?)

And while I've heard all the success stories and even met a few cool guys myself, I've decided that I'm taking a very long hiatus. Maybe even permanently. Because, well, I think they're more trouble than they're worth.


As you probably guessed, if you're looking to get laid, these websites are a gold mine, because they give you pretty much instant access to a bevy of humans that are on the prowl.

Or, at least, looking for a little attention.

But if you're looking for a relationship or, at least, to legitimately date people, these websites are a whole lot of work. And I've already got a job and four kids and everything that comes with being a single working mom. I do not need another job.

Don't get me wrong. It's definitely fun at first. You pop your profile up, add a few awesome photos, and watch the messages and likes and favorites and winks and whatever else people can do these days come in.

It feels great. PEOPLE LIKE ME!

You get a chuckle out of the messages with terrible grammar. You laugh at the terrible photos that people put up and wonder how they ever though they looked attractive.

And don't even get me started on the shirtless selfies. What the what?

But if you're actually going to find someone that's compatible with you, then you have to be the one doing the looking. And by looking I mean sifting through profile after profile, perusing bad photo after bad photo, reading terribly written essay ... you get where I'm going.

I'm tired even typing that out. Just imagine actually doing it on a nightly basis.

And yes, while there are certainly really awesome people on these websites, the issue is that they are tough to find.

Plus, if you do, you're spending time messaging, texting, calling, and finally meeting. And that's just one person you're hoping is as awesome as he seems on every single platform other than IN REAL LIFE. 

Then you do meet them and you're like "Damn!" because they were so much cooler on text or email or even on the phone.

I totally understand that these dating websites are made for busy people like me. And they do help connect people that might not otherwise meet.

But the process of actually getting to meet someone is pretty exhausting, not to mention ridiculously time consuming, all of which you could spend on taking care of yourself. Your kids.

And really, it's started to feel like a meat market. Like one guy had on his profile: "How's shopping for humans going?"

I actually want to find someone and not have some sort of Internet pen pal or ego boost that messages me nice things into the ether. If I have to wait to run into them at the grocery store or be introduced by a friend or meet them at a work conference, then that's fine with me.

What do you think of online dating?

Image via SpenserMarie/Flickr

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